nothing much..

Sometimes u just have to take a break and have your own way to blow off some steam.this is what am I suppose to do for the sake of trying to settle down and have it my own way.

Yup.it’s been gazillion time i’m telling people that i’m busy.though me myself disgust the word,yet can't never get away from it..

Ouh yeah.since i’ve learn the proper way to write an essay..So let’s make an outline.

UNCERTAIN RELATIONSHIP.
2 weeks ago.It was something came up in my mind.What I really want.You know.. it’ll become a major pandemonium in your heart when you’re handling with uncertain relationship.I don’t even bother what people think of me(Yet i do contemplate it sometimes).I just want the certainty.Which may not come across the line when i am trying to pursue my dreams.So i asked him where do this relationship go?Are we friends or more.I just want to make it certain.Are you still you?..Like a normal human being.We’ve the right to know what we wanna know.

I texted him and asked for the answer.Alhamdulillah.It was certain.That we’re just indeed a best friend.Not more than that.Others might think this will traumatized me in such way.Alhamdulillah.I accept it with an open heart.At least i’m certain with the status.No more heart feelings and this is just friend.

After sometime,the past occasionally come across and knocked on my heart.I asked Insyi my roommate.Am I wrong for doing that?She said u’r doing exactly what u’re suppose to do.At least,u know yourself that u’ve heart to love someone.It’s Allah’s most precious gift.So don’t be ashamed with that.It’s just you who knows where to lead the love.To the right path or not.Though he’s x meant to be yours.Someone will insya-Allah.Nothing much.. cause i’ve got to focus on things that is way vital.

STUDIES
Yup.everyone will gag when i told them about studies.Not to mention the assignments and unfinished tutorial.It’s just come across my mind that am I going take medicine?Cause sometimes i feel that i don;t even have the heart to stick my eyes on the BIO terms and such.All i know is my job prospect must be with the folks.SO i just choose to take medicine?I don’t have any idea.Just go with the flow and pray hard for upcoming obstacles.

FRIENDS.
I’m indeed lucky to have a good acquaintances around.Don’t have to mention them but i’ve my amazing beserians,awesome and coolest roommate.They always be in my heart through ups and downs.

Somehow,i just felt that i’m clueless when it comes to their problem.I just felt that I’m a completely stupid looser to be their friend.Cause my problem is i have difficulty in verbal communication.I don’t even know how to comfort them when they’re sad.I just feel awkward to hug them.To console them.I'm completely naive.

Yet,i’m longing for someone’s hug sometimes.I just feel ease when Insyi hug me(Hope she dun read this)Pray hard she’s x...Cause,when u’re sad,it’s just a smack feeling inside you when someone hold u and hug u tight.Maybe I am just too childish for craving for someone’s hug.Yet,i need it the most.

How i wish to hug my sister.However if u’re rarely hug,it’s just not right perhaps.

Ouh Allah..please lend me a little bit strength.So that i can let myself be more courageous next time.

kepada kau yang nak aku minta maaf..

ok..for YOUwho may concern..kau nak aku mintak maaf sgt kan??

SAYA NUR SYUHADA BT MOHD MUSTAPHA(kau kata x kenalkn..aku dah bg tau nih)
MEMOHON MAAF ATAS KESALaHAN SAYA MENULIS NAMA ANDA TANPA
KEBENARAN!!

In case kau x baca betul2 la kan..nama kau disebut bukan keluar dari mulut aku ok..aku menulis pengalaman..kalau nak diikutkan..aku pun x kenal kau..aku x tau pun kau nih sapa.. and kau google ke nama kau smpai keluar post tuh yang aku rasa tahun lepas lagi??(untuk kepastian sbb post tuh dah lama dan sgt panjang)

MINTA MAAF SKALI LAGI.sorry aku xtau no phone kau ke,alamat kau ke,facebook kau ke,myspace or what not..so aku post APOLOGY POST kat blog aku je..kalau kau baca baguslah.

p/s-apahal la kau nak carut2 nih!!kalau ye pon aku buat salah kau tulis elok2 x boleh..aku nih bukan ....... suka2 hati nak panggil mcm tuh.

MINTA MAAF SEKALI LAGI......:(

1st night of syawal

Today is the 1st night of syawal..cucu tok bak got loads of monkey business to do!!ngahaha

Playing mercun!!no 1 can resist..

The funny part were the lil couzie and the MOTHERS!!!!

The thunderous sound were not from the MERCUN..tp from the mothers

OI ANAK AKU!! OI KAKAK BAIK2..AMI!! DAYAH!! FAIZ!!! FARISHA!!!!!!!!

Hahahaha..the mothers were paranoid..takut betul anak dia jd apa2..and the hilarious part was..takut anak dia masuk LONGKANG!!!

This is how we celebrate raya at tok bak’s house

pak ali and picha

feelingless

bila yg tua lebih excited..ni la jdnya!!hahhaha

kakak nak show off sifat keibuan..tp nmpak sgt budak tu pun x RELA..ngahahha..

farisha..: "Ewwwww"..hehhehe

dun ask where's my pic..cuz i look extremely terrible with kain batik..sumpah mcm BIBIK!!hahah..dgn tudung atap tuh..hahaha..habis bibiklah kiranya..till then..

tadaa!!!

sElAmaT HaRi RayA

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!!

when crazy couzn meet....

the chocolaate 1 is aunty ok..gagahaha

ok..jom raya rumah atok sebelah-ok tu xde kena

mengena..

It's Ramadhan!!

salam.

the ramadhan come again seeking for the best slave of Allah.Perhaps we could be one of Allah's knight in shining armour(Insya-Allah)

Currently I was luxuriate in staying home with family.Alhamdulillah.1 week of Ramadhan at home was such a blessed from Allah.I am very thankful for that.Terima Kasih Allah.

Like I said,the Ramadhan come on the stroke of time which you never aware of it to come.It’s is not my intention to brag here,but as a student it is a hard tough row to hoe as I feel the burden to stabilize between my studies and also my ibadah.

In Ramadhan,I believe everyone is searching for something more beyond their life could live.Meaning,everyone is searching for truly happiness.Which is through ibadah.There are abundant of ibadah that we could absolutely POSSIBLE to do.Yet,I detest the feeling of “ohh,maths x siap lagi”.. “Lab report,baca ni..nak test dah nnti”..

Even studies is 1 of the obligation for muslims to abide by,somehow, a guilty conscience needs no accuser.Which this is particularly devoted to our Creator.

At the present, as a weak slave,we keep on whining about our existence in this “al-ardhu”.Yet,we never be thankful on what we have for yesterday.

In the name of Allah,The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful,

Allah!Most Gracious (1) It is He Who has taught the Quran(2) He has created the Human(3) He has taught him speech(and intelligence)(4) The sun and the moon follow courses(exactly) computed(5) And the herbs and the trees- both (alike) prostate in adoration(6) And the Firmament has He raised high,and he has set up the Balance(of Justice)(7) In order that,you may not transgress(due) balance(8) So establish weight with justice and fall not short in the balance(9) It is He Who has spread out the earth for (His) creatures(10) Therein is fruit and date- palms,producing spathes(enclosing dates)(11) Also corn with (its) leaves and stalk for fodder,and sweet smelling plants(12)

Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny…..

(surah Ar-Rahman 1-13)

Still, Allah had leave behind thousands of kindness for His slaves that never been concern.

This is a message truly from the bottom of my heart and also a lesson for me as well.

All and all,make full use of Ramadhan as you might never meet this blessing Month again in the future.Who know's??

Ma’assalamah..

ayuh!!

okay..okay..i know..you've been waiting for me and can't wait to tell me how much u love me..I know..I know..okay2..keperasanan sekejap

since today is so called-hari yg x berapa bosan tapi agak bosan sebab makan byk tp duit xde dan kena mintak emak dan aku byk ckp..(sila baca dengan laju sehingga ada juling)

jadi..menambahkan berat badan dengan berjalan2 ke CM..untuk mencari makanan..jauhkan??jadi..dengan berbekalkan 15 ringgit kerana sesungguhnya aku tidak mempunyai duit..hanya mengharapkan belas ihsan mak cik yg menyuruh anak saudaranya yg ngeng datanmenemaninya makan di waktu breaknya yg hanya 1 jam..

jadi..berjalanlah cik syuhada dengan gagahnya dr rumah ke encik lrt setiawangsa ke cik pasar seni yg mengambil masa selama 20 minit..

in case you don't know what is CM..CM is PASAR SENI LA WEIH!

makanan adalah super hebat..tp apa yg lebih menarik ialah

cik syuhada seperti seorang gadis kampung yg sudah lama tidak ke CM..tu la org bukan kl..ajak lagi aku pegi mid..pegi klcc..len kali ajak aku pegi CM..entah..tempat nih mcm..penuh dgn budaya dan kesenian..cewah..memartabatkan biro kebud..aiseyh..xde kena mengena..

cik syuhada berjalan dengan sehelai sepinggang yg seperti dikatakan tadi..hanya ada 15 hengget di poket.kalau org culik pun x bebaloi..hehe

menyusuri lorong2 didalam CM membuatkan aku rasa mcm pelancong asing yg konon2 nya berasal dari uganda merangkap zimbabwe dekat2 dengan afrika melancong ke MALAYSIA di waktu SUMMER BREAK..sungguhpun tiada bag coach mahupun sunglasses DKNY menemani..hanya sehelai baju,seluar,tudung dan sepasang cermin mata murah..begitulah keadaan pelancong dr uganda merangkap zimbabwe dkt2 dengan africa itu..

jd..turut pulang dengn sehelai sepinggang..kerana menyalahkan encik kad atm yg tidak dibawa bersama..adeh..kalau x..bleh ti tot..hehe..

dan kebetulan berjumpa dgn ini

sgt teruja dgn org bermain gitar..dan menganggap org main gitar mcm cool je..dulu persepsi saya terhadap org main gitar..ish lagha!!tp setelah diberi pendedahan..rupanya boleh main..cuma jgn lalai..

jadi..telah meminta beberapa nasihat dari kawan baik saya iaitu encik J..dia kata beginner bleh main gitar beli yg murah2 dulu..

jadi..SAYA MAU MAIN GITAR..tp..mana mau dapat gitar nye?GITA GUTAWA??hehe

cik kakak sudah menasihatkan supaya beli di ebay..wah2..dia mengajar ke jalan yg menyimpang..sudah tunjuk jalan..x tau la pulak nak buat paypal tuh..KAKAK!!!

CAN U PRETTY2 PLZ DO IT FOR ME!!!!!!!

and she said..kau nih..SPOONFEED..dush!!tekena aku..

jadi..telah membuat perjanjian kongsi gelap dgn kakak..bertanyakan encik ABEN..iaitu merangkap teman tapi entah mesra ke x kakak aku..hehe..sudi mengajar bermain..tp entah bila..kerana..MANA NAK CARI DUIT NAK BELI GITAR NIH??

jadi..saya perlu superhero!!

chicken little!!ayuh ROMPAK BANK!!!

we can't never get away from high school crush kan?

ok..this post has been stick into my head since the day I was at BESERI..gosh..too long isn't it??but I just can't put it into words ..it just came dancing waltz in my mind..and by the time i'm clicking my fingers onto the keyboard..the words just vanished.

here I am..putting myself back together..yeah..yeah..yeah..mcm la mengalami major break up ke apa..hahaha..okay..serious and back to bussiness..

like other people..we do have some heart problem at certain point..at one time..when u see something..it'll reminisce u on the THING that u forgot for sometime

i know..it's nothing and never happened to me before this..cause..i was syuhada who never bother about others except her girlfriends and family..

hmm..you know what it feels when you have a crush..urghh..i know..it just sounds so jiwang..but i'm trying to get rid of this ASAP before i start my lesson in college..

gosh..I always think.. that is totally absurd when it comes about crush..crush always come and go..just like a snap of your finger..but this crush..i don't know..it always coming back..haih..

wahh..i even can't believe myself that i'm talking about this..but if i don't do so..it always bugs me..and it trigger myslef to write again and again..but not at the blog..but inside me..if u know wut i mean..

like..keep talking to myself..about him..where is he..how is he?haih..it doesn't matter actually because i won't meet him again..and I don't even care about it..but the 1 million question keeps knocking on me..so what i'm supposed to do??it's x my fault..if I accidentally think about it..and I didn't ask for it to come pun..

ok.it started happened when I was in BESERI..i know..i know..it was supposed to b memorable..but for me..it become a major chaos to my heart..

as I passing by his class..the basketball court..my class..where he used to prep there without any reason..but at that time..I was totally annoyed..hehe..but at the present..i miss those time..

yeah..i mean it..i miss the time when he taught me how to play basketball..i know..I was a piece of joke who makes everyone laugh on my stupidity..who on Earth would play basketball if she's only 155cm???u see what I mean..I'm just a piece of joke..

i don't know why i came there to play..and he's not ashamed to teach me on how to play..even if I was in his place..i would burst into laugh if I see the short girl play..dah la cam kelam kabut semcm..haih..

hmm..when it comes to study..we're always help each other out..with no other intention..just books and notes..nothing else..HELLO..we never take an advantage over study group okay..hmm..i always write my notes in his notebook..i just love to write all the things that I know..though he hates my handwriting because mine was super HIDEOUS..hehe

i always felt asleep ALONE in my class petang2..when nobody's around..he came into my class..and knocked on my desk..and asked me to go back to my cube..and have some rest.

and that time..I was like..sebok la kau nih!!suka hati la..but now..i miss the moment..haha

he bought me a supper because i didn't eat the whole day..and at that time..i totally pissed off at him for some reason..but still..he never give up..

thanx dude..you're totally my bestfriend indeed..it takes a long way now..

no more notes..no more supper..no more saying "kau ok x nih??"..cause u'll busy with your own life..I also will be leading my hectic life to another level..

but still we're friends kan??kan??

haha..ok..no more hiding feelings..this is how i feel..so..hoping high that by posting this..the feeling will fly away..and do come back on the day i graduate as a good student..

INSYA-ALLAH..

FEELINGS!!DO COME BACK IN 10 YEARS FROM NOW OK!!

XOXO

NUR SYUHADA MOHD MUSTAPHA