the musafeer

2012-01-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

I know, I am inadequate and incompetence for telling myself that I'm involve in this thing.. For this body hasn't work to that level to declare myself that I am one of them..

Afraid that I am among the hypocrites whom sits with them but the heart is in denial.. Astaghfirullah..

Though I have nothing, but His blessings keeps on coming..

[pause]

the dubliners came. hati berbunga2 tapi dalam masa yang sama sedih..

Because one knows that happiness is temporary

Off they went to warwick..

Details of the dearest friend..

her birthday is coming up.. 26th January..

Dearest mimi..

Who would ever think that we've met this way?

Immature times we were back in school..

Always been good.. For I always respect you since school.

Deep inside.. Dear God.. allow me to be like her..

(stalker terbaik dari sekolah.. hebat tak?)

You're way better than me.. tapi saya tak pernah rasa inferior tu..

We never say love to each other.. How insane was that??

Days past.. off we went to sekolah banting2.. together??

First day of school, baju hitam bunga kecik2.. hehehe..

Here, your transition begins..

Still the love remained locked..

We believe.. if I love you, you should've known that by yourself..

Pengsan gak tu..

Few gatherings past, still.. susah betul..

Till one day, you've told me..

Adoi, saya berasa di awang-awangan.. 6 years woman! 6 years.. count that well..

for I was busy with my camera.. still the words did capture well..

Happy birthday dearest mimi.. Cepat satu hari.. tapi siapa kisah.. you are old..!

Having said that, happiness is still a temporary moment.. One always said that..

"May we meet again with this love in paradise"

and I always reply back

"If I am not good enough to go to paradise, kindly please pull me together with you"

saya pengsan hari2 kalau baca ni..

p/s- dearest the others,

walaupun tiada nama kamu di blog, tapi sama je lah!

sayang semua orang..

cheers

jazakallah khayran kathira

Afflictions for a reason

2012-01-19T14:41:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

It was just yesterday[literally], I felt that helping out people was just a form of human mercy..

tolong je lah.. nnti kalau kita susah ada orang tolong..

For that reason sometimes, affliction knocks on one's heart.

Penat, tak larat dah, apasal kita? Mana orang lain?

Such question will arise..

Think for 1 sec, if that simple so called mercy was the one who pulls you out from the hellfire..

Sila zaas~

Remembrance of the hardship will cause no harm..

Jazakallah khayran kathira

2012-01-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

this is totally random of an uneducational post..

I used to have my favourite table back in school

form 5

*note the yellow sticker

"matlamat hidup zaman kecik2 dulu~ "belajar untuk ilmu.." gelak sendiri2.. MATLAMAT HIDUP tu mmg tak tahan.. tak sangka kecik2 guna perkataan "matlamat hidup" @_@.. pengsan~"

edited version

used to become a positive person.. kanak2 sungguh ayat2 positive tu..

then, no more table, no more words and the spirit vanished with time

here I am back again..

insya-Allah

p/s-hidup memang la susah..

tapi lagi susah kalau takde niat..

tepuk dahi sekarang.(walaupun tak boleh)..

p/s 2- saya tetap jugak nak kata saya boleh pengsan.

perplexity @_@

2012-01-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Niat

Intention..

Easy to say..

Extremely hard to practise

Then,

You're in daze with His words..

[Pause]

[Think]

Feel the words, May He lead and guide us all the way

And with the truth We have sent the Qur'an down, and with the truth it has descended. And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a bringer of good tidings and a warner.

And [it is] a Qur'an which We have separated [by intervals] that you might recite it to the people over a prolonged period. And We have sent it down progressively.

Say, "Believe in it or do not believe. Indeed, those who were given knowledge before it - when it is recited to them, they fall upon their faces in prostration,

And they say, "Exalted is our Lord! Indeed, the promise of our Lord has been fulfilled."

And they fall upon their faces weeping, and the Qur'an increases them in humble submission.

Say, "Call upon Allah or call upon the Most Merciful. Whichever [name] you call - to Him belong the best names." And do not recite [too] loudly in your prayer or [too] quietly but seek between that an [intermediate] way.

And say, "Praise to Allah , who has not taken a son and has had no partner in [His] dominion and has no [need of a] protector out of weakness; and glorify Him with [great] glorification."

[17:105-111]

Self- reflection

Mode:Pengsan

Jazakallah khayran kathira

She knows

2012-01-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

a good friend of mine asked me..

"What if I am a really bad person? really-really am bad.. what should I do?"

"We shall seek forgiveness from Him.. make repentance.. make taubah.."

"What is repentance? How do I do that? I am very ashamed of my mistakes.. Will He still forgives me"

[pause]

Dear Allah, for this woman is ashamed to meet you.. She knows she makes mistakes.. How beautiful the feeling is

And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.

6:59

You knew everything..

p/s- While she was talking.. I was thinking, we never feel ashamed to meet Him just because we 'think' we didn't commit any big sins..

Verily, small sin is still a sin.

Wallahu a'lam

Do pick me up whenever I'm down

jazakallahu khayr

2012-01-11T12:29:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum

bismillahirrahmanirrahiim

For all this while, one depends on the angels to bring lights upon oneself..

One does forget that the lights that the angel brought was originally from Him..

Sitting alone makes one realize that, one has to seek the lights without fail even with the absence of these angels..

For these angels are incompetent..

and Only Him is the utmost competent,

The best among the existence,

and we are alive because of His presence

jazakallah khayran kathira..

p/s-angel means those are dearest to me

the photos

2012-01-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

assalamualaikum..

thousands of photos have been taken.. be it from the utmost high-tech camera that one's own or a simple snap shot camera with film inside.

source

though how cool the camera is.. yet, gazillion fault it may have..

while taking photos.. i felt the cold wind blows and i wish I could capture them all.

"ya Allah, allow me to capture the wind"

apparently, I can't

I took the picture of happiness, yet I failed to translate it in my photos.

I captured the tears.. yet the photo itself isn't the same as what the person might feels.

Camera can only capture moment.. once that moment passed, the only thing left are memories..

Moment means temporary.. You'll only get it once.. Same goes to the loved ones.. It means you can only have them for a moment..

Dear Lord,

what if I am not good enough to meet them in paradise?

Make du'a for the other as well.. May you'll be with them eternally in Jannah.

Jazakallah khayran kathira.

i miss You and you

2012-01-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

bismillahirrahmanirrahiim

Away from cardiff for 2 weeks.. the best reality getaway that one could have ever had.. Meeting up with the angels.. the all time angels and also the new angels.

How could i've never realize their existence before this? How pathetic it was when you shut your hearts off and not realizing the presence of these angels..

It doesn't matter how far or how nice the place that you've been.. it's the journey that counts. Patience.. love.. friendship@ukhuwwah..

Dear Lord,

make this post pure and sincere.. please..

For I, honestly never been into this situation.. I was sunk by tears.. The decrepit heart asked me to hold. to stop. not to listen.. say NO.

He hears all.. He hears everything that the heart said.. yet, He gave me the second chance.. Either you grab it.. or you'll LOSE it..

she sat by the angel.. she cried.. another angel.. she cried. she was confused..

Dear Lord, whereabout do you want to lead me? AM I in the right place at the right moment..?

who destined this for me? I was lost in a sec. It was Him.. though the physical is unseen but the evidence proves everything..

He does exist.

Dear Lord, forgive me for not knowing you for 20 years of this life.

I was cold.. very am mad.. i didn't find what am I looking for.. I was frustrated by the answers.. whenever they asked question.. I refused to answer.. I know they have such a rigid answer that is not worth questioning.

so I chose to keep silence..

Later on I realize, He told me that. those rigid answer that your were thinking is from

"Me.. the Lord, Allah the Almighty"

I was struck.. again..

Last time, i saw my angels moving forward.. I didn't step back and think.. All I did was.. NOTHING..

I miss them.. I do really am. We've known each other only for a second or two.. yet, He's the one who controls the heart..

He decides that I shall fall in love with you in a split second.

How confusing is that? Up to a sec, I was thinking.. what would happen to me if they are gone?

Long sigh..

Verily, His love is the only permanent love that one can hold to.

Thus, hold to His love and He'll never leaves you..

Dear angels, these 2 weeks insya-Allah has divert the view of this jahil. May He shades more light upon her view in the future.. amiin ya Rabb..

Dear angels, I miss you
wishing that i could share with the whole world who my angels are.. yet, you've already know it by heart

till then,
jazakallahu khairan kathira.

m.s

subhanallah

2011-12-05T12:05:00.001-08:00

assalamualaikum

All praise and thanks belongs to Allah, the Lord of the world. subhanallah

Subhanallah.. Just about yesterday, I asked Him to firm my believe, steadfast in his path and remove doubts from this heart.. Subhanallah.. and Insya-allah, i think what has happened today was both a test and also the answer..

It was at the dissection room(pffttt.. here goes the med student's story).. no no.. seriously.. this has got nothing to do with the cadaver and such.. The thing is, it is just happened that a good friend of mine.. the 'd.r' mate to be exact asked my friend and I about Islam..

Before the story begins, lemme rewind a bit what was happening before that.. The dissection was supposed to be finish at 1 but they managed to cover everything around 11. So off I am to the library though the actual session hasn't end yet.

By 12.30, i felt that I should check out the d.r again. So I went back to the table and I saw him( the d.r mate) and azah were still there. It was happened that they were talking about Islam and the massive room was barely filled with people. It was only the three of us at our table and some other people at the other corner.

The first question that he asked me was

"what would happen to you when you're dead?"

For azah, he starts the question with

" what time do we pray?"

and the conversation continues with questions like

Do we believe in Jesus?

Why do we read Quran?

Do we understand Quran?

What do we think about Jesus?

Why we chose Quran, why not Bible?

Do you think somebody has altered bible?

How do you know Quran is the word of Allah?

Are you sunni or syiah?

Have you been to makkah?

Why do you pray?

Will God forgive your sins?

What about the sins that you're not intended to commit?

subhanallah.. Never once in my life, I've ever taught we could share this with the other non-muslims.

Honestly, it was a good way of checking yourself.. checking your state of iman..

Another thing was, it's a good thing that I actually learn something from their religion as well.

From ever since i grew up, yes, I do believe in only 1 God and He is Allah..

This guy also sort of a very religious man. He pray everyday and for the first time i heard someone confessed that he believe that Jesus is the son of God. Insya-Allah, I've heard from someone else before, but not directly from a christian man

Nonetheless, insya-Allah one knows that it is contradict with Islam. As Allah says in the Quran

Indeed, they disbelieve who say, “God is the third of three (in a trinity),” when there is no god but one God. If they desist not from what they say, truly, a painful punishment will befall the disbelievers among them. Would they not rather repent to God and ask His forgiveness? For God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. The Messiah (Jesus), son of Mary, was no more than a messenger...
(Quran, 5:73-75)

Before he told us about how his faith is, he first question us do we believe in Jesus?

So we said, yes, we do believe in Jesus, but as the prophet.

"So he is not a son of God?"

"According to Quran, no. He is the messenger of Allah and there is only one God."

Then he explains who Jesus is according to the religion.

He told us that Jesus will come down one day and forgive them.

(p/s- Ben, correct me if I quoted you wrongly yeah?"

as if he'll read this.. but who knows?

But we told him that Jesus is not dead and the one who is being crucified is not him.

He was shocked a bit and alhamdulillah the answer is in the quran

4:157

Subhanallah..

I asked Allah to guide every bits of the answer..
We did also asked him

Do you understand every bits that you read in the bible?
What's the difference between the old testament and new testament?
Do you have specific prayer?
What's the difference between catholic and protestant?

maybe everybody knows already about this, but we do am very keen to know though

Learn other religion will cause you no harm insya-Allah, allow His knowledge to let us know how Exalted He is.

we may not give people the exact answer. we may not know everything.

yet, Insya-allah, try not to fabricate things..

refer back to the source, ask the experts if you're unsure

It's a good way to further understand your believe and we're not trying to judge other people is wrong.

We don't say

"you're wrong.. no.. no.. no.. my religion is the best"

yes, our religion is the best.. but are you prepare for the question.. WHY?

so before you say other people are wrong.. we make them understand why islam is right.

insya-Allah, the muslims are not perfect but the religion is.

Barakallahu feek.

May Allah cleanse the heart, pure the intentions and guide us from going astray.

amiin

with love,

syuhada mustapha

cardiff, december 5,2011

Just.. what if?

2011-11-30T13:10:00.001-08:00

Assalamualaikum

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim..

In the name of Allah.. the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful..

Just what if.. i know "what if" two powerful mind boggling words that might probably allows you to stop and think for a moment.

Just now, I sat at the cafe.. alone..*there were a few people(two or three) there yet the cafe was close*

It's time for maghrib.. While I was moseying down to the quiet room.. Just for a second I think

*what would happen if someday I don't have this urgency feeling to perform salah?*

*what if.. someday.. I become desensitize and REFUSE to perform salah*

Isn't that terrifying when He leaves you and allows you to do what you want.. aimlessly living the life like a dummy?

Allah sends me every angels here in cardiff.. Subhanallah.. insya-Allah.. He keeps me protected.. Even if I forgot, their presence insya-Allah reminds me that.. Syuhada, you've Allah as your master, and you're His slave.

But, what if, He place me somewhere that I find myself off the beaten track? nobody is there? Nobody will remind me to perform salah..

what if someday i feel " Nobody knows what am i doing.. nobody is here..why should I.....?"

May Allah protect us from this feeling..

Who knows how their journey ends. Who knows probably you and I are among the hypocrite that live in lies,boastful inside and we don't even realize it?

They try to deceive Allah and those who believe, while they only deceive themselves

2:9

p/s- please refer back to the divine source

May He protect us from these feelings.

O Allah, I seek refuge from every words that I say, every actions that I take and every intentions that I'll make

2011-11-29T12:07:00.001-08:00

assalamualaikum

bagi saya seribu tokoh wanita "zaman sekarang" untuk saya pilih...

walau hebat dan berjaya mana pun mereka..

saya tetap rasa mak saya paling hebat di hati saya..

dulu kecik2 selalu tak puas hati dengan mak..

selalu ckp dengan mak "mak orang lain tu.. mak orang lain okay je.. mak orang lain"

hahaha..

asyik sebut mak orang lain..

lupa yang diri sendiri tu keluar dari perut mak.

mak mungkin tak ada sesuatu yang mak orang lain ada

tapi mak pasti ada sesuatu yang mak orang lain tak ada

rindu mak.

semoga terus kuat

amiin

strikes

2011-11-22T07:45:00.001-08:00

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah.. it was a lunch time that Allah has made me re-think again..

Somebody has brought this illuminati matter up and ask my opinion on that..

( rule 101- never put any expectation)

I did regret that I didn't say sorry in the first place though.

Because "if you don't know anything, then say nothing"..

I may not know much about the "propaganda" thing. Yet, I do believe that if a muslim holds the true divine islamic integrity in oneself, no matter what agenda or propaganda that strikes, that wouldn't shake him for one bit.

Insya-Allah

I may be wrong. I may blurted out a word that makes "that person" assumed that i didn't care..

Eventually, I said

"so? what are we as a muslim should do?"

That person may think that the "so?" word might lead to why should i care or my heart has become desensitized or something..

Insya-Allah, at that moment.. I was just thinking,

why should we bother on what they want to do with us.?

We ourselves have yet fully understand our faith.. I seriously appreciate on the knowledge that "that person" shared..

but, counting the number of agendas that has been made or will be carried out will be a waste if one does not have a clue on what to do next..

Strike 1- i may be wrong, I sometimes have the feeling that people look down on me because of the way i represent myself(me myself have to check on that too..)

"if you come to people to share your knowledge, the person whom you shared your knowledge with is not someone that is "below" you.."

a reminder to myself

strike 2- one does not use this phrase to people

" if you don't feel anything about this.. then.. I don't know what has happen to you"

in malay "kalau kau tak rasa aku tak tahulah" this had stroke me 1000x..

I am not here to correct people as I do commit a gazillion time mistakes more than the other people do..

p/s- ustadh told us that "eventually you'll die and what you write will remain"

so, may this post brings benefit to me individually and also to the others..

Amiin

Jazakallahukhayr

2011-11-12T08:36:00.001-08:00

Assalamualaikum..

insya-Allah and Alhamdulillah things are doing good.. Probably not as we've planned. But that's the best thing that He.. He has planned.

I met a few muslims.. some of them know and understand arabic.. I sat close to them.. Deep down inside

" Don't you feel like you want to share anything that you understand from quran? because I do really am want to know"

Think of it again.. If the non-muslim sit next to me. Will they feel the same?

O God, guide me with everything that I said.. For you the Almighty and All-Wise.

2011-11-04T23:55:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim..

"May Allah purify every intentions and actions of His slaves"

Amin

The insya-Allah utmost perfect moment for you to reflect yourself as a slave is during fajr.

* Daily chores haven't begin

* Stacks of assignments haven't been sorted out

* Before the brain starts to function(literally)

Just a second.

Clicking on few friends profile. Wasn't intended to become a somewhat stalker.

Just checking out how they are doing.

The unnecessary post~ Here goes the inevitable ignorance.Sorry

What caught my intention was those who struggle to improve for the better.

Who sees islam as their true guidance.

Who wants to glorify BACK this magnificent religion on this earth.

A sister once asked me "Why do you want to involve in D syuhada"

shoot me with thousands of bullet.. It is an unbearable question.

I'm practically moving very SLOW.. very2 SLOW..

Entah apa yg nak di' digest' pun tak faham..

Thinking, questioning yet no action

This religion doesn't need you if you don't want to. It will keep on spreading without your existence.

" Am I causing this D to become slow?"

"Am I the causal of this religion becomes unknown?"

The answer is "I don't know"

May He shows me the answer from every angle that I pass through.

They are a few classifications that have been made to classify an individual. Part of it is those who wants to become better alone..

Who wants the input but heedlessly refuse to carry out the output.

*Cough*

Pening gila post ni bermaksud otak yg tidak center.

Insya-allah i think i wrote things not to please anybody. Not to gain the highest comment.

This post is for me yet something that calls me saying that I should share. So here goes this jiggy wiggy willy milly post.

terima kasih.

p/s-writing is not something that you could make it up.

If your heart is clear. you can make your writing clear.

If your heart is jiggy wiggy willy milly- This post is a proof

cyberonic..

2011-10-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum..

this post probably might not be a nice post to read. but things happen currently.. not that recent but currently... is a little bit fuzzy to me..

Why on earth now fb has this "love" quote thing? Things that is used to be in the tumblr has become outraged in fb..

I don't mind for an individual to have some sort of imagination.. Nothing wrong about that. I do sometimes having crappy imaginations from time to time..

But get real please.. This love quote is somewhat bringing the idea of "ahhhh.. i wish i could have that"..

Wah.. boleh cair ni..

du'uh??? get real please.. There was one that made me horrifyingly smirked for a second..

" Can i tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else"

this is the lame-st pathetic quote ever made( sorry man)..

Come on.. get real.. This pick up line doesn't work in any sense.. so don't simply made it up..

I've got teen sisters(literally).. who's on fb for 24 hours.. please don't indoctrinate them with this crappy belief.

not just that.. with some silly facts about boys and girls.. what's that btw?

If you would like to have this cyberonic(word buat sendiri) love imagination.. umm.. please do it in your 'own' blog or tumblr where it will never sore the eyes whom apparently DON'T WANT to read it..

sorry for the wrong saying..

Assalamualaikum

2011-10-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum

It was a miraculous sunny saturday. I walked out of the house with the tune of abdul rehman murphy's lecture on my earphone and insya-Allah with the intention of finding some good reading materials for my assignment.. While I was so into his lecture,alhamdulillah.. An old lady with a black furry coat approached me.. She touched my arm. I was stunt. Out of nowhere she came,( don't have a clue).. she gave me a pamphlet about reading bible and knowing God..

"Would you like to read a bible? Have you read a bible before?

"Errr..(speechless).. Sorry, no I don't read bible"

"Are you a muslim?

"Yes, I am a muslim"

"so you believe in one God?"

"Yeah.."

stop there will ya? Yeah?? yeah?? what the crap are you talking about? yeah?? you should've said YES!!!

I went off by saying thank you and just took the leaflet so as not being offensive towards her..

On my way.. I do am regret for not saying "yes!" in a very confident way.. You were listening to islamic lecture from a great speaker.. Yet, you still couldn't answer such question?

Sighhhhh...

Ya Allah, please do protect the tongue from every single words that I utter. Insya-Allah..

Should've work harder..Amiin..

Jazakallahukhairan kathira

2011-10-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum..

peace be unto you readers..

for I do value the price of the salaam.. alhamdulillah.. I know I haven't update this blog for quite sometime.. The solemn thoughts of "owwww crap!!! why am I here?' does exist..

shoot me.. for being unthankful.. The analogy one said by the anonymous speaker

" a boy who has grown up.. Lavishly grown.. with every single wishes has been fulfilled by his parents.. showers with unconditional love.. and one day, he went straight to his parents face.. I DON'T NEED YOU ! It was all because of me.. I was the one who study hard and excel.. I did that.. I did this.. I.. I.. I.."

a childhood tale yet has a very powerful meaning..

It's like.. with all the nikmat that Allah had gave me.. I threw away the nikmat and I said.. "I don't want this".. Masya-Allah.. may Allah protect me from this feeling..

Yes, initially I was a bit frustrated with the environment.. The place that I called as a tormented place- "you know where I did my foundation was"

has now become the utmost exquisite place I've ever been apart from beseri..

Anywhere and anytime.. Reminders were served right in front of your face.. Congregation, Halaqah, Tazhkirah.. everyday, everytime.. everywhere..

In here, you've to seek for those.. How empty the soul is without the sound of athan form the masjid, the heart wants so badly to feel again the taste of the congregational prayer.. You wanted so much to hear people giving salaam, says alhamdulilllah in a very exquisite way..

I know I've played a lot in the past.. I wasn't concerned at all about the DnT.. DnT was so out of my league.. I couldn't care less.. yes, did attend the syura but the heart wasn't there..

I feel embarrass for who I am today..

writing as though I am horrendously busy doing work for the sake of Allah..

are you? NO!

shame on you bro( i mean me!)

I don't have an adequate provision to feed the heart.. to feed the soul..

and yeah now, I am back at 1.. I'm crawling for the lights..

And alhamdulillah.. I met a wonderful seniors whom densely fuel insya-Allah with the knowledge and understanding.. though it was hard to meet them.. But every meeting was such a blessing from Him insya-Allah..

I miss the reminder.. all the reminders.. please do visit me in cardiff or I'll come and shake you! where have you been?? I need you..Lol..

Insya-Allah.. the walking distance of class from home was a good thinking exercise..

What did I do today? Have I asked Allah to ease my life for today? What did I learn?

Insya-Allah..

food for thoughts will be post later insya-Allah..

jazakallahukhairan kathira..

p/s- I've met a few reverts.. insya-Allah.. May Allah ease my way to make a documentary insya-Allah and do remind me to frequently refresh the intention insya-Allah..

God Bless. Amin

2011-09-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

as salam

random thoughts of the day..

well2.. the list of books recommended by uni has been mailed yesterday...@_@.. wooooishh..

gila pa dia nih.. dari dulu smpai sekarang entah apa pasai nak amik bnda ni aku pon tak tau..

suka la dok gebang dekat interview kan.. la ni hamik kau.. cell biology histology anatomy bagai..

dah la masa spm dok terkial2 hapai nama2 tulang.. tutup buku lupa.. bukak balik stress..

penyakit berjangkit dekat sekolah banting apabila start je kelas bio.. mula la mata tu ditarik2 shaiton.. suruh tidur.. memang tak ada pakar tido la time tu selain aku..

kertas nota punya tulisan dah mcm cacing kerawet dalam perut cicak-man si kubings.. derr

dan sekarang.. dah cuak2 ayam pulak.. prepare ke otak yg penuh sampah sarap serbuk maggi, pama segala pak aji-nomoto bagai nih..

ai yai yai~ semoga urusan dipermudahkan..

p/s- alhamdulillah tempat diberi Tuhan itu adalah yang terbaik tapi masih cuak2.. tade apa yg seronok ye.. sila ambil nota..

rasa dah lama x nengok shin chan..

the revert

2011-09-01T06:09:00.001-07:00

as salam..

after a long break of ramadhan and raya.. here am I(wah bajets diva).. anywho,

an unexpected trip to s'pore... it wasn't much to say about s'pore.. clean street, friendly people yet EXPENSIVE things..

nonetheless, a visit to Sultan Mosque(Masjid Sultan) has opened my eyes..

My sister and I was destined to meet this muslimin..Jason Ibrahim..Mind that I wasn't attracted by this man..The only thing that caught my attention was, how he explained on what Islam is..

Masjid Sultan was quite a very old mosque situated at?? at?? hahah.. lupa..

So, this man, took an initiative to build a mini modern gallery.The content of the gallery was basically helps in building a simple understanding about what Islam is all about.. I do am admire his work..

Provided robes for the non-muslim to cover properly their aurat..

Well put presentations.

I always.. will always be amazed by the muallaf.

They learned and only then do they embraced Islam.

Little things that I do am worry about. Da'wah..

Yes, I do am.. This post might be read by friends whom are very passionate and very active in Islamic da'wah. But, just an opinion will cause no harm right?

so, here I am.. A malay + a muslim.. I was born as a malay.. Alhamdulillah as a muslim.. I was taught to perform my solat since I was small. To fast during the ramadhan.. Celebrating hari raya.. Went to sekolah agama.. but then again.. little do I understand about what Islam is..

When I was in college, I was introduced to usrah.. Truthfully, I don't blend well with the usrah community.. Just some of them..

We were good.. but that was not what am I looking for..

I need a basic.. Like the muallaf did when they first started to know Islam during their early days..

I didn't blame the system.. I can assure you I don't blame the system.. Nonetheless, just because I am Malay and I was born naturally in Islam doesn't mean that I understand little basic things..

And yet, the community has alarmed me.. not to say alarmed lah.. cam sneak peek of how Islam da'wah would be in UK..

I was 'stuffed' not that much but heavy.. very heavy( to me) about da'wah..

why should I being stuffed by so many inputs yet if people ask me what Islam is.. I may get startle..

Little things do I learned from Jason was that..

Islam is very beautiful by words and act..

Very divine words that he used about Islam.. Subhanallah..

No strain upon his face.. No worries.. He just want people know probably not much.. But at least.. it could be done..

On the way back, I was thinking of making a documentary about THE REVERT..

I shall hoping that I'll meet a lot of muslims community( not malaysian only) in uk..

Just to get different opinion.. Different views on how they see Islam..

Insya-Allah.. God, please lead the way..

Jazakallahu khairan kathira..

2011-08-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

Salam..

Sabians' farewell.

source:Audrey

if you're talking about malaysia.. lol.. this is Malaysia <3

people has change and they become more beautiful.. Inside and out.. Eternally..

Till we meet again people

2011-08-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

salam...

building a friendship can never be easy.. it has several stages.. as for the muslims. the utmost highest rank of friendship would be ukhuwwah.. Ukhuwwah is a term whereby you've to take care of your friends in terms of everything.. Their well being, health and the absolute paramount would be their iman.. Remind. remind and remind.. Always try the very best that you can to help them to be on the right track.. siratol mustaqeem.. Insya-Allah..

Achieving ukhuwwah ain't going to be an easy route..It started off by purifying your heart first. Start from the beginning or people would say.. Start from scratch.. It will takes you towards the perfection.. Insya-Allah.. Like I said, it can never be easy and sometimes i felt like ukhuwwah does not exist..Truthfully I do..

But who am I to label friendship by stages? either we've reached the ukhuwwah's stage or not.. Let Him decides. We shall do the very best that we can..

As for me.. Good companion.. good sahabat I guess the second rank after ukhuwwah..

Tolerance, consideration, unconditional love, honesty and ease will always be the best ingredients in sahabat's recipe.

ACHIEVING GOOD SAHABAT STAGE IS GOOD ENOUGH for me

Despite the bad talks about how sucks boarding school is. They said boarding school has successfully producing mundane people living in this universe.. I shall say..They are FREAKING BADLY WRONG.

College was another painful subject to be shared.. So, abaikan..

But, Beseri's people never fail to put the gigantic cow teeth smile on my face.. "what A description"

With them.. I felt like I am belong.. Despite how noob I am for not knowing what BBM is, how twitter functions, what apps does iphone has, how does DSLR has such a beautiful pic cause they are not in my league.. But I can't never be ashamed of myself..

though how horrendously ugly you're looking.. you wouldn't mind..

The love in me is diminishing.. Very rare do I open my arms to strangers.. As in new people..

I realize that everybody has grown up.

I wish we would stay in teen stage..

People say.. today is better that yesterday.. but I personally think of me in yesterday was better that what I've today..

With other people.. I may become EXTREMELY STRICT!

I couldn't except a few minor mistakes that they commit. Though it should have been understandable.. but I've become intolerance over such mistakes..

but with them..a few mistakes shall be easily forgiven.

It can be an inevitable mistakes?

Probably the good qualities in them has overpower little mistakes that they commit.

The 'togetherness' that they have is priceless.. Very rare to find in college.. The word 'competition' is NONE..

I shall be living insya-Allah thousands miles away from them.. Shall pray high that I'll make friends with a good people like them and also bits of friends in colleges(cocos and a few college friends- u guys know already kan?)

with that,

I thank YOU!

part of them

(gmbar belas ihsan nurul fazleen abdul malik)

small angle wider view :'(

2011-08-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

salam..

as much as other people are so excited on their upcoming life experience.. I could tell that I'm having the terror and sick feelings.. Likewise, the dissimilar thoughts that mua having is growing.. sheesshh~

Past few days had urged me to do something different.. meet different people and talk about different2 things..

So, alhamdulillah.. He allows me to meet my dearest friend.. Yi Sing.. We berbuka puasa together and what she did was really sweet to me..

She told me about her experience doing social work in China.. Sharing with me her inspirational stories about the warmth personality of the citizen. The 60 years old woman whom very grateful for having the chance to live the next day of her life.

The old woman whom willing to offer her lap to be seated by this 19 year old yi sing in the bus..heee~

She taught me how hard to earn money for her.. fyi, she's taking a gap year.. She has to work to pay for her tuition fees..

She probably... I don't know.. probably will go to US by her own.. working there and pay her tuition fees..:'(.. If she decides to go there.. she might not come back to malaysia again because she doesn't have money to pay for the flight ticket.. sad even more...

I felt so sorry for this genius young lady.. felt terrible as well..Told her every worrisome that bugs me.. and she said..

" Buy a lens that has small angle and wider view.. so you shall see a better perspective in your life.. okay dear?"

"Why worry.. you shall be fine.. go meet up with new people.. go travel.."

" The China trip really affected me.. I realized that if I've the ability to help them.. What could stop me from doing so.."

We went to the utmost expensive furniture ever sell in malaysia.. ahahah.. which I never thought I would even step on the store.. But she never cares..lol.. she just sat there and berangan2 like she owns them.

Love can be very painful.but..

How can I stop loving this woman..?? I know you don't have time to read blog.. so this is for you..

I shall miss you and the sabians :'(

till we meet again next time/next year/next 4 years..

tin kosong.. bunyi tanpa makna

2011-08-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

salam..

gomen for remaining silent for quite sometime.. by phone,by mail, by ym..by any means of conversation.. i was purposely shut them off temporarily..

not to say i was give up.. Insya-Allah.. I haven't yet..Things insya-Allah doing well.. alhamdulillah.. Few obstructions here and there.. tp insya-Allah will be sorted out soon..

I was just tired.. tired of talking the same thing.. yes.. the same subject.. living on the same cocoon for like what?? 4 years i supposed..

Last time, life was so much easier.. yes! much!

Now, the news feed is PACK! I mean like damn PACK! with people talking about the same.. SAME THING!

Come on.. life is not merely STUCK on the same subject!

Why so eager for something that hasn't happening yet.

GOD, give us life!

Then, this endless virus of "Ohh, I shall hit the book.. and nail this exam.."

dah jadi macam satu tradisi budak2 sekolah..

susah nak ajar the beauty of knowledge..

sibuk nak kejar A!

sama la cam aku dan kawan2 aku dulu.. buta ilmu..

sekarang pun x pasti masih buta.. atau terus buta.

atau mungkin ada yang dah 'tercelik'

Risau.. risauu.. arr.. risau..(penyakit yang tak pernah habis sampai tua)..

Why don't we just live as the way it is.. Berjalan tanpa tanda. Berhenti di mana-mana.. kutip apa yang ada.. dan perjalanan diteruskan.. tidak susah bukan?

Last time, there was no "ostracizing" scene! Anxious..

And why? why keep on dwelling over the hardship of the past!

As if it was the only hardship ever present and you are the only one whom encounter with such situation..

Rasa dan terfikir untuk keluar dari circle ni.. pergi ke arah yang lain.. mungkin situasinya lebih menarik..

terlalu mengejar bnda yang sementara.. kadang-kadang sedih..

kadang-kadang menyampah..

maaf.. tulisan tak berapa nak bertapis buat masa nih..

Risau tahun ini.. Risau Ramadhan menjadi kering dan kosong..

2011-08-09T08:54:00.001-07:00

salam..

think i should give some food for thoughts.. next post..

insya-Allah

salam

the details of the dearest friend

2011-08-02T08:28:00.001-07:00

Salam

The painting on a piece of canvas may look an abstract to some people..

Yet, some people sees every details of the spot

Close the eyes.. Imagining the cold wind that blows..

Imagining the lights, the nights, the stars and the dreams..

Exquisite yet vague

Boxes, parachutes, cargoes..

stones, old block and history

the black T, the blue sweater, the tap of the shoes,

oreos,the cabin,the red T

the broken specs,the nestum,

the smarties, the table, the chicken,

the puke,the ice-cream, the places,

the trains, the thoughts,

the white T, the orange, the phone,

the brushes, the paint, and the banner,

terrible running shoes, absolute horrendous yellow shirt, and yes the watch

the pencil, the fingers and yes the laughter

the lateness and the pray

sisters, the smile and the baby

the books, the notes and not to forget the handwriting

and yes.. this is the details that i do remember.. stay with me. I couldn't remember..

fly with me.. it can never close to possible.

walk with me.. you'll be stumble

away from me.. only then i would remember

p/s- i can smile alone only by reading the list.

p/s 2- kecacatan otak di post ini kerana kecewa dengan parking kereta tadi sbb dimarahi instructor sehingga berjujuran air mato den..

URGH! stress tiba2

melayu.. kurang bijakkah?

2011-07-30T00:00:00.001-07:00

salam

melayu kurang bijakkah? sebelum anda membuat sebarang spekulasi pada pernyataan di atas.. sila baca dengan tenang tanpa kehadiran emosi..

ewah.. ayat warning mmg tak tahan.. tp apakan daya.. itulah yang harus dilakukan sebab sejak menjak ni.. orang yang salah gunakan blog senang2 disaman.. memandangkan den ni masih dibawah tanggungan M*R* yakni merupakan syarikat atau apa pun namanya yang memberikan bantuan kepada orang melayu dan bumiputera..

Jadi, haruslah den berhati2 apabila mengeluarkan kata2 terutamanya MELAYU.. kang dia tarik tajaan dia sebab penulisan den kang.. tak meraung hati mak

(pause disitu then sambung) nak!!

(kaedah membaca dengan nada yang betul)

hehe =P

bukan nak mewujudkan sentimen perkauman.. Tapi berikut adalah kisah benar berkaitan dengan pernyataan seseorang terhadap melayu yang

KURANG BIJAK..

sila ambil perhatian bahawa perkataan ''kurang bijak' itu telah ditapis oleh penulis.. jadi.. anda fikirkan lah sendiri perkataan yang seangkatan dengan ''kurang bijak' dan gantikan lah sendiri ya..

Kejadian terjadi apabila saya dan sahabat menaiki teksi ke sebuat tempat

( cuba ditapis sehabis mungkin)..

DItakdirkan pemandunya bukanlah berbangsa Melayu dan kisah bermula..

Sewaktu teksi laju meluncur di jalan2 Kuala Lumpur.. berkatalah pak cik ini

" ini apa jam2(kesesakan lalu lintas) ni? ni semua orang Melayu la nih.."kurang bijak!!!" semua Melayu ni "kurang bijak!!!" apa bikin ini jam.. bangsa lain tak macam Melayu.."kurang bijak"!!!

suka buang masa dengan jam2 nih!!

cuba lu tengok itu bukit bintang.. 2 pagi.. jam.. 3 pagi.. jam.. 4 pagi jamm.. Itu semua orang melayu yang''kurang bijak' itu punya pasal la..

apa bikin itu pusing2 bukit bintang malam2??

tidur lagi baik kan??

haiihhh!! orang melayu mmg ''kurang bijak"

(air liur yang tersembor tu kalau wa tadah baldi mmg cukup buat basuh kereta dia..opps!)

perkataan kurang bijak itu tidak lekang daripada mulut encik teksi ni..

Tanpa melibatkan emosi dan kalau diikutkan mahu keluar dialog KL GANGSTER dari mulut den,

eden pon lihat aje keluar tingkap tanpa mengambil pusing apa yang dicarutkan oleh encik ini.. tiba2

" ehh budak! dengar sini!"

dia panggil wa la bro! baik wa dengar.. kang dia berenti kan wa dekat tgh jalan kang.. susah..

ngok ngek.. ngok ngek..

(dalam bahasa pasar- dia terus membuat aduan perihal orang melayu ini tanpa henti) akhirnya smpai ke destinasi..

ada jugak wa celah " tak de cerita lagi ke uncle?? dalam hati-( tak nak kutuk lagi ke uncle)

sampai2 je .. wa dan kawan wa...

" adeh broo!! dia sembur kita baik punya bro!!"

hmm.. kalau nak diikutkan.. mmg ter sentap jugak hati mendengar orang kutuk bangsa kita.. bukan nak jadi racist.. tp mcm..

apakah???

perlu ke nak sembur2 bagai!

apa yang uncle tu ckp ada benarnya..

tp tak perlu lah nak 'kurang bijak' sangat!!

malu pun ada sbnarnya..

malu den kepada bangsa den tidaklah smpai eden malu nak mengaku bangsa melayu..

mana mungkin malu nak mengaku sedangkan duit yang den terima sejak dari tingkatan 4 untuk makan dan jadi darah daging adalah merupakan hasil orang melayu.. buku dan ilmu yang belajar dekat otak ni merupakan sumbangan dari orang melayu.. den dapat tajaan(alhamdulillah).. pun dari orang melayu.. mana mungkin den lupo jasa orang melayu!

tp sedikit malu kepada bangsa lain sbb tak sangka bangsa sendiri dipandang rendah dan diinjak2..

tp mungkin bukanlah semua.. cuma segelintir.. sebab sepanjang den berkawan dengan orang yang bukan berbangsa melayu.. alhamdulillah.. tiada sentimen perkauman diwujudkan..

malah hubungan persahabatan kadang2 lebih erat berbanding bangsa sendiri..

cuma nak ckp.. masih ada segelintir yang masih nak berpegang kepada kebanggaan bangsa masing2..

so melayu?? masih nak terus menjadi kurang bijak?? terpulang!!

astalabyebye

(dayah pinjam trademark kau!!).. hehe

dumbfounded

2011-07-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

salam

when the heart becomes hard.. tears hardly came out sincerely from the heart straight to the eyes.

When calamity hits... because the heart isn't occupied with God's love.. You'll be lost..

I was in the middle of two junction.. Which one should I take.. Should I wait for this one or should I go for the other one..

A person whom very dearest to me once said..

"bila kamu diberi pilihan.. Allah sebenarnnya nak uji kamu.. Tetap tak hati kamu dengan Dia. Kamu yakin tak dengan apa yang Tuhan nak beri dan kamu yakin tak apa yang kamu pilih tu ada Allah di sisi kamu.."

Hati yang keras yang sudah buntu mendengar kata-kata tersebut.. duduk terdiam.. di mana Tuhan?

awat bebai sangat ni syud..sedih..Perjalanan dari awal mmg sukar.. xperlu nak membuka segala kepayahan sebab mmg selayaknya kita menerima kesusahan.. Tidak perlu sombong untuk mengatakan kamu layak menerima nikmat.. sebab.. LIVE IS A TEST!

jazakallah hukhairan kathira

random love

2011-07-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

salam..

sadly, i was supposedly to be somewhere else. Yet, due to some occurrences, I couldn't be there..

so, today.. the awaiting moment. not to say awaiting.. it was unplanned though.. Instead of going to that place.. I end up went to my friend's wedding! first friend's wed ya'll!!

It was funny how I left these people behind and went to beseri.. Though we're now 20 and we haven't met for like.. 5 years I assume?

We still talk about the same.. same lame jokes.. hahaha.. old time favourite jokes like seniors crushes, 'BRACES', tall, short, dark, fair.. lol..

It wasn't like a wedding.. more like an accidental mini reunion.. muahahaha.. so here are some of the pics.. sorry for the low quality camera.. 'masih tidak berwang untuk memiliki kamera yang baik.''

saya tahu camera saya loser!! dan tak cantikk!! there's mira.. my classmate when i was form 2 and 3.. hehehe.. pretty ain't she?

haha.. random laugh.. tiba2 teringat we're used to sleepover at safiah's house and watched world cup together.. stayed up late at night..cooking again some random stuff which was spaghetti while safah's family was away...sigh~ good old times..

dalam hati wa..(mak aihh.. lawaaaa gilaa.. wa kawen pakai veil je la..kasik tutup lilit2)..lol

good old times..

you know i love you suba <3

they said i'm taller than last time!!..hahaha.. what a compliment weh.

not to forget audrey and mun fong.. i thought you guys don't remember me..

weee~

this post mmg tak ada food for thoughts.. tp ada memoirs to be remember!

strong is not merely a word

2011-07-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

salam..

there are times when you were down and your friends were at the top.. then.. the wheel continues to spin.. the friend probably strongly stay or maybe.. just maybe.. they'll be at the bottom..

A story about a very good friend of mine.. very2 good friend of mine..

Hope you read this..

We've known each other for quite a long time.. we don't see much.. we don't talk much.. the boundary still stand.. I respect you as a muslimin and you respect me as well...

You are also close with someone that I wish I never knew.. Though I've deleted some of the person's friends.. but i never deleted you.. cause I know you are not one of them..

A very good friend of mine..

I saw you everyday back in school with your books.. back then.. I envy you for having such a strong heart to endure all the obstacles.. You keep on studying.. Regardless of what people say about you.. You just turn them off..

At times I was mad if people asked me why you couldn't do well in your exam.

Because i knew you work extremely hard..

Never brag, never proud.. The humility in you stays the same..

Regardless of what people would think about this post.. I am still.. still respect you.. still I do.. I do wish God will ease your journey.. permudahkan segala urusan kamu..

probably sometimes.. I ask God.. why did you test this person?? why you pick this person?

Again.. He knows best.. as I am incomparable over His power to ask such question..

So sorry, I couldn't comfort you as normal friends would do.. But I know insya-Allah God will always take care of such a pious person insya-Allah like you..

Be strong.. Like you always did =)

.....

2011-07-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

salam..

went to kmb.. truthfully, mula2 masuk mmg terasa bahang nightmare yang dahsyat pada dahulu kala.. tu la.. kalau bnda2 yg pahit je kita igt.. kalau bnda2 nikmat cepat je lupa kan syud? haish..

tp ni cerita penting..

ditengahari yang terik lagi perit... peluh membasahi segala2 nya.. tiba2 ternampak seorang adik junior ni meletakkan sesuatu di bench ko-op yg tu je kot aku rasa antara tmpat yang best..

jangan dilihat pada jenama bag mahupun handbook yang sudah bertukar cover.. urghhh handbook!..

tp pada 'buku' yang indah berwarna chocolate itu..

minta maaf kepada empunya quran.. tp saya nak snap jugak..

rasa seronok melihat suasana sebegitu yang dah sebulan setengah cuti ni jarang ketemu orang yg membawa guidebook indah itu kemana2..

teruskan membawa guidebook itu ye adik.. dan semua juga..fuuh~ sadis..

percubaan #1

2011-07-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

salam..

long lost people.. a used to be friend.. dissolves with time..

face? no longer in memories.. you just know.. how beautiful the smile.. that's all..

forgot about the tone. was it soft, was it funny, was it.. was it..

couldn't remember the presence, but at times, when you stumble upon a small stool.. just a stool.. those laughter came.. probably from the past..

It was just a sudden rush.. I close my eyes.. whisper to myself.. it was just yesterday.. yesterday.. yesterday.. yes.. it was yesterday..

I stood alone.. and that laughter gone..

p/s- give me back the writing.. gimme back.. i just need the memories.. I promise i'll keep it in a very nice place.. like i used to ...

p/s 2- ni adalah rekaan semata2.. tolong jangan perasan.. muahahahahhaa-(anti-climax)

GROSS fact #2

2011-07-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

salam..

ini post tidak mempunyai sebarang makanan otak..atau mgkin ada sikit

menonton movie bersama ayahanda di rumah.. yang wa tak pahamnya.. apa kes sekarang semua org nak biceps besar gedegang macam kena jab steroid 40kati??

sila eksplen??

Wa sakit mataa ma! apa semua yang besar2 kuat ke?

wa fobia lah besar2 nih.. dah rupa payung pasar tani..

bapak kata "alaaahh. berlakon.."

saya "ni semua badan besar gedegang ni.. dah tak wujud ke orang yg kurang tinggi ni??.. yada2.."

kesimpulannya, baik lagi cerita gangster daripada cerita menangis berjujuran air mata pasal cinta yg x kemana tu.. SEDEYYYH!

wa pegi dulu..salam

GROSS fact #1

2011-07-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

fun fact..

too much thinking more or less daydreaming makes you forget to swallow back your saliva and you end up drooling over the sink!

-GROSS!-

hidup itu tidak susah tp tidak juga mudah =)

2011-07-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

salam..

ok title mcm nak buat novel sastera..

tracking old friends.. Ya Allah.. how relieved I felt.. (longgggg sigh)

out from all, same, mundane people whom apparently talk about the same thing, the same occurrence and yes the same same same thing..

good to be out from the circle.. yes! FEEL absolutely good.. Talk about different things.. ABSOLUTELY different..

insya-Allah, no other intention.. enviousness is definitely out of league. tolerance, sincerity and most of all honesty.

WE may not tied up with neither the same interest nor the same speech.. But we remain close.. sadly we don't have a picture together.. Insya-Allah the pic will remain in the heart..

Never tired of being sceptical am I.. gomen.. tp trust me.. life is simple insya-Allah..

you'll be nice to me, i shall be nice to you.. Though Islam teaches the believers to be nice to everybody OUT OF LOVE! yes!! tidak kira siapa..

SO syuhada mustapha! cepat! practise to love people out of love(ohh beratnya)

the scent

2011-07-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

salam..

Long forgotten memories.. Probably not that long, but it can be easily forgotten.

Every lights

Each corner of the room

Every time

Every places

Every songs

Every movies

Every scents

Every shirts

Everything reminds me of him..

I probably forget your face. I do.. Hardly recall the eyes,the nose, the smile.

Cause i don't keep any of your photos with me.

Cause if i do, fret i would suffer from this unresolved grief.

One day, she gave me your scent.. Yes, your perfect sweet scent.

Gushes of memories came

Allow me to forever keep your fresh scent. So, it will perpetually stays in the heart..

Forgive me.

but I miss you Tok Bak

p/s- i took your attar oil and kain pelikat..

Kain pelikat tu dah jadi best friend bawak tidur

sweet dreams

p/s 2- tak tahu kenapa semua perfume boleh buat den sakit hidung dan bersin x henti2.. tp minyak attar tokbak ttp menjadi idaman hati.. hehehe

Sadly, you were deluded by yourself syud.. shame on you =(

2011-07-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

salam..

this would be a reminder to syuhada mustapha.

It is never my intention to hurt anybody's feelings..

First and foremost, alhamdulillah, all credits and praise goes to Him Allah s.w.t for giving me the slightest bit of reminder from occurrence that happen today..

A brother says to me,

"if you believe that what Allah would give in the hereafter is waaaayyyy better and everlasting, thus, there shall be no regrets on whatever happen in here..."

He emphasized again on the usage of the word 'mata'ah' which means something that is to be utilized to reach for the betterment in the hereafter'

Utilizing things means temporary.. Once you've finished utilized it, then, it will be no longer needed.

Indeed, yesterday was a big day for most of the foundation students. As though it determines the life and the death..

I was.. yes, I was particularly being restless for the rest of the day. Hands shivering, body's temperature rose up and getting warm.. I pretended that I was sick yesterday and laying on my bed most of the time... Being so heedless I would say because yesterday was so short...

that I've wasted it just like that..

Then soon I realized that, man! What I've been doing.. Restlessly thinking about things that is VERYYYY TEMPORARY????IMPERMANENT??

Heart was pounding and beating hardly. It couldn't be worse than that.. Blankly thinking.. Lost.

Then the moment of truth.. As though it was like damn important syud!

Yes! Credits and praise be unto Him! Alhamdulillah.. You may not get it perfect but how could you say you deserve it?

YOU THINK YOU DESERVE IT SYUD?

You were deluded by "He gave you gift because you were in pain befoere.."

Ohh COME ON SYUD!!!COME ON!

Wake up then.. This is not something as cloud nine as spm.. yoohooo weeeheee hee?

Yes, there is some defect in things that you want, but still it was good insya-Allah..

But again. you think you deserve it?

How COULD YOU DARE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT?

The gift that HE gave was nothing to compare on what you've been doing..

Did your heart inconceivably pounding while uttering His name as compared to when your heart pounding upon receiving the truth?

Very rare aren't you?GOOD!(sarcasm).

You are nothing to deserve on what he gave you.. It's a gift and yet it's a reminder.

He wants you to bow even lower.. Have sense of humility.. Improve. Yes, you are insya-Allah being grateful. You did say alhamdulillah..

But the alhamdulillah is because of the hard-work. tears shed, blood sh*t that you think you've done??

or it's solely because of HIM?

Mix isn't it? Think about that syud..

Not merely sigh and satisfied and happpppyyy yoooeeeyyy dooeeeyy..

This hand and heart is very mad at you because you've waste your day thinking about this IMPERMANENT things

There are always ways to look upon it in different perspective syud..

Things, occurrences change by time..

If you want to continue receiving His gift without feeling grateful and afraid.. Please then.. please continue..

But if you have the slightest bit of remembrance.. Please.. do not ignore it cause you know you have to bear with the consequences at the end of the day.

Till then,

for those who apparently, coincidentally read this post.. It's a reminder to the owner of the blog.. If she happen by any chance forget her own reminder.. knock her down.. MOCK her for shamelessly forget her own reminder!

Jazakallahu khairan kathira.. Assalamualaikum

langit

2011-06-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

salam..

one of the exquisite quotes I've ever heard..

"... Jika kamu berasa sedih.. Lihatlah di dada langit.. Nangislah.. dan ingat akan kebesaran Tuhan.. Tidakkah kamu berasa yakin dengan kuasa yang memegang alam semesta ini? Jika kamu yakin Dia berkuasa.. Jadi mengapa lagi masih berasa sedih..? Tidak redha...? Putus asa?...bimbang..?"

sambungannya lagi x berapa ingat.. tp.. believe! He has the power to control everything. not to be mention your life.. He knows everything.. Look far beyond the skies, as there.. lies infinite power that you could have ever imagine..

It's impossible to love the creation without loving the Creator.

"..Lihatlah di dada langit.. dan nangislah.."

sumber-gmbar

half empty or half full?

2011-06-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah.. I am officially employed at the moment..

gmbar adalah hiasan semata2.. x paham gak apa kaitan.. tp nak kata employed je.

teehee~

Beforehand, would like to share a few details about life(bajet dah tua je ckp cmni)..

Parents..

mampu ko den aja anak eden cam gini??mau pengsan anak den dapat omak cm gini..

ok menyimpang syud.=)

Parents,…always wanted the very best for their children. From a very basic tiny little thing.. your life, your education, even your friends(kecik ke semua ni.. ok suka hati).. if possible they would control everything.. control by means of ..they are trying to make sure that everything goes well for their children..

And I wasn’t trying to tell you about mua familia.. It’s about a man name father.. which is not again bukan abah saya.. name: anonymous lah.. boleh?

So this anonymous guy apparently called me and invite me to teach her children.. Yada.. yada.. yada.. talking.. talking… talking… about date and time.. Lastly he told me

The anonymous guy(father.. not my father of course):

Could you please give me a few days..?? so that I would set up a good room for you to comfortably teach my children.. ??Probably we could have one big table..?? Lighten up a bit the room.. Good lighting is good is it for studying? What do you think?.. do you need a whiteboard? So you can write on it? What else do you need girl?

Me: errrr.. errr(bro.. bro.. wa bukan pro ni bro.. nak siap lampu bagai.. peluh otak mak nak jawab).. err.. up to you sir..

Father: Hmmm.. okay2.. let me bincang2 first with my wife and we’ll see how okay?Payment you nak mcm mana?

ME: (Dia tanya lagiiii woookkk..).. ikut suka jugak..(innocent2.. cough a little.. put some dramatic effect there)

Father : oklah.. itu pun I bincang dengan my wife jugak lah.. don’t worry.. I fetch you up at 8.. then you ajar anak I kat rumah I

Me: angguk2…( dio ni lupo ko den baru jo abih asasi(kehkehkeh) keputusan pon x dapek lagi nih)

AND I WAS DUMBFOUNDED by A MILISECOND THERE..

He wants everything purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfffeeeeeeecccccccttttttttt for his children.. For a second I felt, how lucky they are..

Last time, when I was at their age.. I picked my own tuition.. pernah terfikir nak home tuition.. tapi memandangkan ingat ayah xlah banyak duit mana.. so pergi yang tuition ramai2 dan sesak2 tuh..

I went to tuition either jalan kaki or masa form 4 sblum pindah.. naik public transport… bepeluh2 eden.. tak do maknonyo bapak nak kesah.. lantak ekau pandai2..

Sometimes, being poor wasn’t that bad after all.. at least you know the value of the money when you become a little mature after a few years later..

Good thing that parents are worry and concern.. Because it gives the children a little bit pressure to work harder to appreciate things that their parents had done..

Regarding emptying your cup.. yes… When it comes to ilmu.. DO please!!! Please people.. empty your cup.. Don’t show up with half full or half empty cup..

It’s definitely easier.. waaaaaaay easier to teach people that come up with empty cup.. Alhamdulillah.. the children(not so children though.. more like my sisters and brothers) came with empty cup..

Nonetheless, I’ve bumped with some people who always.. I mean like always came with half full cup.. bak kata orang indon( orang yang sok2 tau..) melayunya( orang yang tak tahu tapi buat2 tahu)..

Arrr.. ini boleh buat blood pressure wa naik bro!!!.. sometimes, it was easy… very easy with people whom are willing to learn and we admit that we know nothing.. Senang cerita.. lebih senang berkerja dengan orang yg biasa2 je.. Because they know they are lacking of something.. They are willingly to learn..

Rather than this smart people.. who thinks they are very smart till sometimes they forgot to listen and learn..!!

It’s very hard you know to start from scratch if you bring along this half empty/ half full cup..

Kesimpulan, sila buang air dalam cawan tu siap2 naa sebelum datang nak mintak air lagi.. sonang orang lain nak isi dan tak tumpah.. sonang ekau.. sonang oranglain..

Ok.. let’s get back to work.. brain ON!

rain 2 =)

2011-06-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

Salam..

the sky is getting darker and darker,

for a second you knew it's about to rain,

raising up your hand and do pray for the future,

and hoping that God will drift away the pain.

You are forever,

That is what everybody says,

,But have you ever wonder,

How I could live without you in many ways.

No matter how many times I told you

,That I love our relationship more than anything

But what about you?

Will u remember me though I am nothing

I just do not know how

And I know sometimes you think I haven’t got a brain

For you I will do anything somehow

But everyone thought I’m just driving you insane

I love you so much that is all I can say

And I thank God He gave you once to lead me all the way.

Alhamdulillah.. thanks to Allah.. I could still feel the cold sensation of the rain.

I miss you..Anybody that is special.

*p/s- why not used 'them'?because 'you' is more personal..

between me and you.. only you

okay.. sonnet ni bajet je.. this is for friends.. real friends..

rain =)

2011-06-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

salam..

alhamdulillah.. I've changed my blog background to a rain pic.. as if you couldn't see..

Never fail to fall in love with rain..

I may not good in facts.. i may not good in words either.. yet, i could be probably good in reminiscing good times when it comes to rain..

Good memories never fail to come as i saw the rain trickling down the window..Not to forget the coldness of the pouring rain..Probably rain only come once in a while. so, I could picture best what was happening at certain date and time when it's about rain..

Flipping over my old diaries(look how loser am I) keeping diaries for so long..

Bittersweet memories as what people would call.. Some people would say, forget all your good deeds and remember only the bad ones..

I think, it's best if you can remember both.. Sadly to say, the good things that you've been practiced before sometimes seems far-fetched for today..

Dwelling and whining can't get you nowhere though how sh*t it would feel..

Life continues and nothing to be ashamed of.. Good days ahead people and days ahead would be much better than yesterday.. Insya-Allah..

God will never abandon His faithful believers

cheerios =)

there's a verbatim words of quran that says about rain.. enjoy!

Allah is He Who sends the winds, so they raise clouds, and spread them along the sky as He wills, and then break them into fragments, until you see rain drops come forth from their midst! Then when He has made them fall on whom of His slaves as He will, lo! they rejoice!

ar rum-48

love

2011-06-16T19:45:00.001-07:00

love <3

she

2011-06-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

salam..

an unexpected call from her.. yes.. because of her i miss everyone right now.. this is one of them that i miss..

y.s.(her name) she's trying to uphold the means of 10 years back communication.. lol.. by email.. browse the pic below where she's trying very hard to write in malay..

n wrote in super huge font..(org buta pun boleh nmpak)

dunno whether she could distinguish between malay and indo because she's using both..

lol

wish we could see each other again..

may this friendship shall be directed to the right path because it would be such a waste if it remains only in here(the dunya)

geli nak ckp.. tp i love you :)

her petite reminder

2011-06-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

salam..

As I was thinking of what to write.. I was blanked.. the idea is getting rusty and so as the vocabularies.. With the absolute ANNOYING, whining voice of my little cousin.. she did well for making me mad and insane.. (mad2!!)

Then again.. she reminds me on how terrible I was handling with emotions.. Yup.. I am indeed a person that is very bad with emotions.. As abah told me that my parents were expecting a boy for the second child.. yet it turn out to be me that came out instead.. so here i am a girl with stubbornly boyish emotions..(yawn...........)

I easily freaked out when tears became a subject.. SHOOT me.. Admitted myself that I am very BAD!..

bad with words

bad with speech

very bad with emotions

such a boring person I am..

then again.. today.. this petite annoying small cousin of mine cried and annoyingly whine.. ( note how many times i used the word "annoying" which shows it is truly

ANNOYING DISTRESSING AND yet VEXATIOUS)

don't know why only this time I felt sorry for the tears..

(sbb sebelum ni aku akan rasa mcm.. diamlahhhhhhh!!!) because i was taught by my mak/ kakak (kalau nak nangis.. nangis puas2.. tp jangan bercakap.. kalau nak ckap.. stop crying)

apparently, that idea has implanted well on me until i felt the same way to this little girl.. only this time it's a bit different reason of crying..

As she started to cry at the back of the house..ok telinga dah bingit.. i asked why?? apa pulak laahh kali ni..

mak explained to me..

" dia nangis nak pergi tengok bak kat kubur... dia kata nnti takde siapa nak bagi tokbak air.. kesian tokbak sorang2.. nnti siapa nak bg bunga kat tokbak.."

yes.. this annoyingly 4-year old girl remind us again about the loss.. i believe that everyone feel the same way as she is.. we are missing him.. but, she's the one who speaks out..

the tears that spills a bin did pinch the heart..

this girl reminds me of the hand that held mine firmly one day before he went away.
she reminds me how it took a few second for my tokbak to let go of my hand which at that time i hardly comprehend myself on why he did that to me
she reminds me on the last moment of quran recitation that we could give to tokbak
she reminds me of the coldness of the cheek that we kissed

though how annoying she is.. she is still the love of my heart.. Good reminder indeed and i will constantly aggravate her and make her annoyed so that she could be even more annoying!!!

* and i am still wondering why people could be so strong to handle such test..

Ya Allah I seek your strength and Aid..

Ya Allah we expect the best from You, as You will save us just as You saved Your Prophet!

Ya Allah, save us by Your Mercy from the hardships of this world and the next.. amin..

=)

2011-06-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

salam..

Either good or wearying times, it all comes back to Him for all shall be return to him at the end of the day..

If one ask me what would be the utmost expensive and priceless thing that has been taken from you?

I shall say none.. But if you replace the word 'thing' to someone, i would say yes.. been once..

words from a good friend of mine still lingers,

"jangan sampai Tuhan tarbiyah kita dengan cara dia ambil apa yang berharga daripada kita"

yes, the words struck me the minute it happened.. Tok Bak was invited by God and so long He left us with abundant of sweet memories..

I am not attempting to plead for any sympathy or fellow feelings from whoever reads this post.. Enough for you to sedekahkan al-fatihah to arwah Hj Shariff bin Hj Siraj..

Insya-Allah

Mix feelings overpower my train of thoughts as it happen in a very split second.. Only Allah knows that this was my very first time experiencing such loss..

Yet, again, mcm sahabat ckp, apa yang telah diambil mmg tarbiyah yang sangat besar.. and I MUST be thankful for that..

Allah ambil the uttermost pious among us so that we shall contemplate even harder on our iman and our amal..

Shall be optimist that Allah took him because he was insya-Allah all ready and prepared..

truthfully, it was such an eye opening apabila merasakan diri sendiri sebagai seorang muslimah sangat kecil sebenarnya.. For a second i wish to be a guy.. Sbb kebanyakan urusan jenazah diuruskan oleh orang lelaki.. and nothing much you can help as a muslimah..

Last time, mmg prejudice gila upon the opposite sex.. untuk certain2 orang je la.. then i comprehended myself upon how important they are in a family..

Sadly, in family, there are only two of us left.. kakak and saya obviously..

(meaning- dalam keluarga kecil)

Hoping high that kakak will find the right man that will help us in this matter.. kesian kan menumpang??.(this wish excluded me sbb saya lambat lagi =)

Seeing the loss of Tok Bak is like losing your other half and i couldn't imagine how the 'sahabat' felt when our beloved prophet, Rasulullah s.a.w passed away..

Dear muslim,

"..We shall test you through fear, hunger, loss of life, property and crops.(Muhammad) give glad news to the people who have patience and in difficulty say " We are the servants of God and to Him we shall all return"

(2:155-156)

top up

2011-05-28T03:13:00.000-07:00

salam

people asked me.. what am I going to do after this?

I'd say "i need a top up for the soul"

so shall we?

source

nota kaki: her heart was shaken by the words that she wrote..takut x mampu buat!!!!!!!!!

insya-Allah.. together we strive for His blessings.. Insya-Allah

making a perfect sense

2011-05-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

salam..

giving your thoughts out through writing..gleaning all the ideas around is what I’ve been waiting.. wah, gitu kan.. anywho, this is just a random girl post and thoughts..

mula2 sekali.. would like to convey my greatest apology for this upcoming words that will be written unto this blog.. may this post benefits you and me..

ok.. back to normal.. this is going to be all about girls.. let me remind you that, if you are not a girl(don't know what gender is that.. haha) and still have the desire to read. Haha.. allow me to notify you that.. this is going to be boring.. so if you have nothing to do.. I mean like NOTHING.. so please continue then..

ok girls(making this gedik sound .. GURRLSS). Try to mull this point over..

WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL?

Again I’m asking you.. why DID you cracking your head real hard in order for you to make yourself look good? First thing first, please do not judge my words by my appearance.. yes I do admit that I don’t wear any

Make-up =( (I even feel awkward putting on compact powder on my face)
I got confuse between eye-liner and eye-shadow and eye.. eye bag? (ok tu exaggerate gila)
I don’t wear any fancy stuff that these girls wear today..

Nonetheless, still, I have something to tell about beauty the way Islam sees it (again, though I am not very good at it)

Girls

Why making it very hard for yourself trying out weird outfit that you are not comfortable with? Yes, though pain is beauty.. tp, by spending for an hour in front of te mirror checking out the same face yet only a few bnda2 yang tak kena on your tudung and your shawl just to make sure you look beautiful..girl, ain’t you get tired? Yes, kekemasan itu penting.. tp.. try to mull this over

* how many times do we ever make any reflection unto our iman and our amal upon God?

*how many times do we try to improve unto mistakes that we’ve commit?

A question which myself can hardly answer it.

Next, please don’t do this if you think what am I saying is true

PLEASE muslimah please don’t..

Wear leggings with tudung.. fyi,leggings is a tight pants which usually being worn by a 4 year-old girl with her mini skirt.. can you see what am I trying to say here?

LEGGINGS is a CRIME!! For muslimah.. can’t you see? You have done well from top down to your clothes.. yet, when it comes to leggings.. minta maaf.. I’m begging you, please ‘rip off’ you leggings.. kasar kan bahasa.. minta maaf sangat.. I know I am not good in any updated fashion sense.. tp, legginsg is just have to go.. yes, everybody has the right to determine on what they want and what they wear.. tp since you are my friend.. let me tell you that leggings does not cover up your aurat even though it covers your ‘skin’.. you got me?

Next,

Please do not wear the inner clothes outside..

Usually this is for those who wear dress.. long or short dress.. and to match it with your tudung.. you cover your strapless or strap dress with inner shirt instead..i knew every muslim girl are longing to wear dress like the one that you’ve been watching all along from tv..

Dress is beautiful.. saya mengaku itu.. tp come on! There is always a better option… there is nothing wrong to wear dress.. tp if you are wearing tudung, cover it up with long and loose cardigan instead..

Again.. saya mmg tidak mempunyai good fashion sense.. tp alhamdulillah saya tahu sedikit pasal aurat.. this might be a very daring statement and people would banned me for saying all this .. tp this thing should be corrected before it gets worse..

There is nothing wrong to be FASHIONABLE.. Islam does not restrict you from doing so, tp within certain limit and according to the islamic guidelines..

Dear sisters,

Beauty is natural.. and all of you are born to be naturally in a beauty state.. so, knapa susah-susahkan diri untuk nampak cantik??

One thing about girls that shook me a little is.. they condemn other people taste or fondness..not all of course.. i'm talking about SOME girls. SOME okay..

This is especially for the girl stuff like again. Fashion-fashion thing..

One thing I did realize is that.. fashion is like a major big thing for girls. Muahaha.. aku mmg loser.. sila mengaku sekarang.. ok get back syud..

Different people has different taste, fondness upon the fashion that they think suits them.. some people are very daring to wear such a daring colours like super chili red colour, extremely apple green kind of colour.. yet, some people prefer pastel plain color..

Hence, you cannot say that “pastel color people’ are boring and as if your fashion is the upmost perfect fashion that should be followed.. Respect them.. respect what they wear if it does parallel with islamic guidelines..

If they can respect your preferences.. why can't you?

You don’t simply kutuk them if it does not suits your style.. mind that..

So rasanya tu je kot.. ada lagi nak tmbah tp da penat..

Would like to convey the upmost greatest apology for this post.. but I’ve got to say what I’ve say. Itu saja.. minta maaf kalau ada yang tersinggung.. saya pun mepunyai kekurangan..nobody is perfect(itu cliché yang bosan)

salam..

random thoughts 400

2011-05-05T02:42:00.000-07:00

Salam..

Wait..hehe.. umi has distracted me from gleaning my thoughts for this post.. lol.. quoted from her “ buat apa tu?? Tulis perasaan ke??”

Ngahaha.. i said NO!! Never.. for today of course..

Back to the main idea of this post.. yes(tetiba yes la yang pasti..) ok abaikan..

Hmm.. yup.. blogging has run wild among public this days(bajet mcm authority).. anywho, yes, everyone can have a blog.. jotting or scriblling their thoughts unto a piece of ‘web page’.. do we call it piece?? Ok abaikan.. suka hati la kan nak tulis apa...

Thinking of ‘ suka hati lah nak tulis apa’ ni, i was unintentionally came across this blog of manusia whom apparently yes writing whatever he/she likes.. ok to be frank.. it’s a HE.. abaikan siapa dia and saya pun tak tahu siapa dia.. checking his writing from friends lappy whom apparently to be her former schoolmate.. ok why we wanted to go in detail about his profile once again?? blerghhh

So, call me chauvinist after this because this post might be a little bit bias at certain part of the idea.

So, throughout his post, which post i can’t hardly recalled myself, he wrote something about teenage girls/ so they called as chicks nowadays..

He was describing about

- Girls making a duck face while taking picture.. (fyi, duck face means pouting your lips forwards.. ngahaha.. ngeng punya description).. n telling them ‘bajet lawa’ ke apbnda

- Girls wearing FAKE EYELASHES were yada yada yada.. tiada quotation di situ kerana points sudah di rephrase sebaik mungkin..

- Girls wearing thights legging ingat lawa ke la lebih kurang mcm tu..

- Dan pelbagai lagi description yang telah diberikan

What’s running through my mind in the first place is that.. WHY DO YOU CARE??

Describing woman’s body does not bring any goods unto them you know.. yes.. i understand that is your blog and you can express your opinion in all manner of you wanted it to be.. I am a blogger myself.. yes i wrote what ever I want.. but i think your writing has gone everboard this time..( gila bajet nak kritik dowh)..

Considering myself in your place.. yes, i also could not tahan seeing such woman like that.. but does your writing contributes anything unto them?? Again.. does it bring any goods unto them?? I bet in reality you won’t go straight to them saying like this

“ You, what’s up with the FAKE EYELASHES???! I MEAN FAKE EYE LASHES??????”

“Could you please wear decent clothes a bit, gosh, you make my eyes ache”

“Tutuplah aurat weh.. berdosa”

BET YOU WON’T say something like that won’t you? You DON’T right?

SO why making you personality SPLITS!! in the blog??

People sometimes can be different from reality and in their writing.. I know because again I am a BLOGGER MYSELF..

Tp tolong lah jangan sesuka hati me-label mereka.. though what they did may irritates you in some way.. but that does not mean you can say what every you want to say.. we don’t practice freedom of speech okay in malaysia(I guess)..

So ponder what you say syud.. PONDER it deeply.. toodles!!(Gedik sikit)

may this words brings benefits for me and to others..

doumo!

The purpose of our life =)

2011-04-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Salam..

I came across this vid that day when I read my friend's blog.. Exquisite reminder..

all she knows

2011-04-16T04:07:00.001-07:00

salam..

collecting iman is as though you are collecting debris of your shack.. What is there to be collect? merely dust..

Same goes to iman.. to buck up once again after being fallen? it takes you more than collecting it back..

haish.. let the pic do the talking

alhamdulillah.. been waiting for so long.. He gave me rain to bring back the tranquility in me..

jika ukhuwwah dibina berdasarkan islam.. insya-Allah.. semua akan jadi lebih indah..

He always will give me someone to accompanying me.. Yes you friends.. Whoever you are..flower is fated to wither away, yet my love for you is fated to last eternally..

Thank you God for all the patience.. been to mabid.. During the subuh jema'ah, the imam recited surah al-waqiah.. according to my friend, the ayat tells you about the beauty of Paradise.. Subhanallah.. During the prayer, I was amazed by the beauty of the voice and I firmly knows that the ayat is as well purely exquisite.. Until I knew that the meaning is even more.. INDAH!!

Side story-

was not being able to keep a good friendship with one friend.. mix feelings..=(

If only she understands the love for a friend is because of Him.. mungkin approach aku salah.. till she thinks that I treated her like an 'animal'(she said so)..

What can I do more.. Admit that I was wrong all along..

It was me who treated you badly.. never befriended with someone who treats you like ...

X faham kenapa perkataan tu boleh keluar and boleh di repeat dengan sebegitu mudah..

bercakap mmg senang.. menzahirkan apa yang tersirat itu yang susah..

Bukan senang untuk menjaga hubungan dengan manusia..

I was exhausted of telling kenapa aku buat mcm ni dan mcm tu..

People see the one who is in depressed is the victim..

As though I was responsible for all the pain that she is suffering..

if only she knows that I love her..

she does not even care some more because she is also tired...

And I am practically sick to see people who is devaluing the friendship love for the sake of another unnecessary love..

Bare in mind that I am not gay/or.. whatever..

This is merely an opinion.. Expecting me to come and bow down saying hello..

Yes, ego can be overwhelming.. tp that's not the problem..

Seeing a friend drowning with again an unnecessary love is very hard explain.

call me bad as usual..

again.. mcm aku ckp sebelum ni.. I am devaluing the name or pride of muslimah.. mudah jatuh dan putus asa dengan cubaan yang diberikan..

But I wonder why it has to be her?

Out of all girlfriends that I have, kenapa mesti dia(Mind that saya tahu jawapannya adalah takdir Allah)

Saya tahu jawapannya..

Sekali lagi reminder.. never sell my name to the opposite sex for the reason that you could not endure the pressure and the strain between me and you..

felt disappointed.. Bukan bermaksud nak tunjuk baik depan lelaki ke apa.. x ada kaitan pun..

They don't cost me a penny even if they knew yang aku ni jahat ke apa.. what I've cost you..

THEY DON'T COST ME A PENNY..

but my regrets upon the action is..nothing

thus,

I am begging you an apology..

:)

2011-04-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

salam..

i understand that everybody is in the mode of endeavouring every syllabus for this final battle. Nonetheless, i wasn't feeling any startle neither do I felt affected by their strenuous effort of studying. I rather felt scared of what will i becoming after this..

Bosan gila bermadah malam2 ni.. saya pun rasa mcm tu. anywho, exam-terror stricken for every heart in here.. well.. been here for 2 years.. struggling with every requirement that needs to be fulfill.

Till one time, one was weaken enough to bow down and follow what the dunya wants instead of what He bid us to follow..

I am weak enough to tell you people that I wasn't carrying my responsibility well.. enough regretfulness of the past mistakes.. n now, i am attempting or rather attempted another mistakes..

sorry for not being as virtuous as a muslim ought to be.. sorry for devaluing the name of a good muslimah..

ohh... bak kata umi.. konflik jiwa betull..

Pray hard people..pray hard.. only Him can help you out.. Insya-Allah. He always will.. always be..

Few updated photos of them.

reminds me of beseri.. mind that this is nothing personal.. it's just feel good to be here.. no such thing as remembrance of whoever been there.. if you know what i mean.. because God has replace such memories with

them

counting days

2011-03-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

and some other friends of course..

good ways on counting days ehh?

WOOT!! cepat habis!!

can't wait2!

insya-Allah..

failure avoidance

2011-03-17T23:48:00.000-07:00

Salam

I was not in the mood to do anything.. so I gave myself some space to think..

(cakap je lah nak tulis blog kan senang)

I Wish I could write a book.. a motivational one so that I could send them to the publisher and.. pooof! Ceh, you wish,, after contemplating for sometimes.. I would rather post this which I perasanly call it as a ‘masterpiece’ on my blog

The title is FAILURE AVOIDANCE.. It’s rather ordinary to understand these 2 words.. FAILURE AND AVOIDANCE

Can’t you realize that after all this while, what you did was only avoiding failure?? which the failure of somebody else. I as well directing myself towards avoiding failure..Anyway, It’s rather far-fetched you know not to avoid ‘em.

This is usually happen when one think a MISTAKE is considered as a failure.. and what you can do is get yourself STAY AWAY from that(thing,them.. apa2 lah)

FAILURE BECAUSE OF LOVE(so because of that, you avoid yourself from falling into love)

I am this type of person. Yes, before this I was so afraid to get myself drown in the love drama(Yuck!) Hardly press on the exclamation mark BUTTON!!!!!!!! Few more times.. !!!.. It happens that people surrounding me was kind of fail to achieve their dreams right after they caught in a relationship. SHOOT! So, I kind of make myself steer clear of this drama(though the very fact that nobody wants me.. ceh.. anywho, I still keep reminding myself that DO NOT fall into love.. or else, you might end up the same thing like her/him)..

See, this is absolutely incorrect! There is no such statistics or proven by research that if you caught up in relationship you will end up bad i mean like real BAD! NO, yet, the point here is one has to make it even clearer the intention of not making love at this stage. Because of who?what?why? up to you.. You decide yourself

FAILURE BECAUSE OF JOB SCARCITY./ LIMITED JOB OPPORTUNITIES

(You decided to take something that you dislike instead)

(Deymm.. how narrow my vocab is..)- sila faham ini monolog dalaman.. Scarcity?? Scarcity?? TOLONG, help me out(tolong dan help??) with my vocab.. It’s getting rusty and DULL! I would say.. Ok, let’s pick up where I have left just now.. Ok lacking of job opportunities.(Just forget that I’ve been taking economics so we did learn all this job opportunities and all those unfamiliar vocabulary that usually not being used in a daily conversation)- mind that i don’t converse in English quite often

Ok Get back syud!So, you might end up like ME! Like ME! Because I was afraid of taking risk over my future(who said so? IB is a risk).. Ceh, bajet gilaaaaaaaaaaa.. forget about IB since you’ll get over it soon(YUP!)nod!

So, i refused to take something that I like which is not very popular in Malaysia since the country’s policy is to produce as many engineers and doctors as they can..GAAAH!!!WHY! kalau x mau? P Negara lain(mind that I am not from north)Teehee :D) saja nak guna bahasa baku ala2 utara.. rindu beseri..ok abaikan

Semuanya takut.. Afraid of not getting scholarship because you will be thinking of who will pay for your education fees afterwards.(P/s- take a look at myself now.even I am under scholar, yet I still plead for my parents money).. Deym again.. sama ja sebenarnya..

AFRAID BECAUSE BECAUSE..(amenda wordnya ntah).. AFRAID BECAUSE YOUR FATHER SETS YOU UP AT A VERY HIGH PAR

(so you avoid failure just because you have an expectation to fulfil)

Hmm.. this might no be happening to me.. But somebody else perhaps.. Afraid to much you cannot perform well because your father/ mother or aunty uncle pak long mak long orang kampong semua, give a very high expectation upon you..

So what you did was only avoiding FAILURE! Not travelling towards success.. YOU AFRAID OF FALLING and FAILING because you did not want to tast the bitterness of the mud that you’ll be soak in.(not a very good imagination express)

All in all, what you did was mereley avoiding pain, not moving towards gaining success.Try to think harder.. What do you actually want??Regardless of how hard it may takes to reach there.

After all, for what you are having now, be thankful and say alhamdulillah. Yet, it can never be wrong for you to wish for the better.. DO NOT FORGET TO PRAY HARD AND WORK HARD

Where am I heading next? BIG QUESTION MARK THERE.. Hopefully the next destination would be better.. Insya-Allah

adik-adikku =)

2011-03-12T02:53:00.000-08:00

Salam..

While reading something on the other side of the house.. Suddenly, something interest me

"Mak tgk cerita apa mak?

"Cerita ni haa"

storytelling/public speaking competition..Scope:Islamic history a.k.a SIRAH!

Hehe.. comel.. seeing them very highly-spirit! woot! bangga sama mereka!

reminds me of the past.. (gelak kejap)

Mesti nak masuk pertandingan2 mcm ni.. berlatih sungguh2.. adoi.. terasa loser dan malu sekarang.. suka capub2.. haha.. pernah cerita kat na,syi and nanad..

" dulu aku kecik2 mesti nak menang!"

gelak guling2! LOSER betul aku masa kecik!ke smpai besar pun loser? haish!

tp yang pasti adik-adik tu x loser ye.. tolong la faham.. mereka hebat..

saya yang loser

Thinking of it back.. It's good to have such program rather than having other talent shows mcm nyanyi2 semua tu.. At least, we are educating them to get to know the

"men around the messenger" better and also the Messenger himself.

woot2.. credit to TV1

reminder: the kids are better than us in terms of sirah's knowledge. So what about us?

Like an apple I am

2011-03-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

salam

nobody shall stay at the top for the rest of their life. Whether their fitness, emotionally, financially, educations and all that.. They might

fall occasionally

Usually people would say, life is like a wheel.. Sometimes you'll be at the top, and sometimes, you'll be at the bottom

I shall say "Like a fallen apple I am. From the comfy tree branches, I've fall down and kiss the freshness of the green grass. at least, it's a grass, not a MUD.

The grass is the acquaintances.. Comfy as always.Alhamdulillah..

From Allah I came and to Him I shall return

I am officially announce that I've fallen on 8 March 2011

and it's time for me to get up back

May perseverance and patience always be my companion..

Insya-Allah

Aduan si jahil..

2011-03-04T04:03:00.001-08:00

Feels something or feels nothing.. Long sigh
The utmost splendidly hardest mind breakthrough i have ever experienced. Dealing with the issues that i despised the MOST! Longggggggg sighhhhhhhh..

What i’ve learned for this week
· Do not open up anything to boys.. I mean like ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
This is totally clashes with my so called code of belief! If you ask me why.. It’s either two for which I am trying strenuously to comprehend myself.
Either I HATE/LOATHE anything that associated with girls which in turns will involving boys

(out of nowhere they came)

because I am PARANOID towards them

or
I hate those thing to happen because of Him.

Only God knows how hard this thing is.. Dealing with your own jahiliyah but in someone else body. You’ve got what I mean? Never mind.. this is just a rambling thought!

You see your own reflection when your friends sharing their secret to boys which saya X SUKAAAAAAAAAAAA sbb saya pernah buat benda tu dulu dan saya benci benda tu jadi dan saya malu pada diri sendiri sebab saya buat benda tu yang akhirnya saya menyesal dan itu sangat menyakitkan untuk membuang jahiliyah dan akhirnya benda tu yang membuatkan saya jadi PARANOID!
(Nampak x marah yang sangat sampai xda full stop atau , )

Anda fahamkah? Dan akhirnya Tuhan menguji saya untuk memperbetulkan masalah itu dan SAYA MENJADI SANGAT TAKUT UNTUK BERHADAPAN DENGAN KEJAHILAN ITU SEKALI LAGI!
Saya tahu saya x boleh campurkan apa yang nak diberitahu sebagai reminders dengan pengalaman saya yang menjijikkan tu.. Tapi saya x mampu...

Kemudia secara tidak semena-mena saya menjadi marah kepada orang yang saya rasakan lebih superior(which saya tahu saya x patut rasa mcm tu). supaya mereka yang patut bagi reminder
Bukan bermakna saya tak mahu bagi tu saya x CONCERN! faham x! saya sangat takut!!!!!! takut kepada kejahilan sendiri! dan itu membuatkan saya jadi marah yang teramat sangat!

On the other side, saya tahu Tuhan sedang menguji perkara yang saya paling lemah! saya tahu saya x kuat lagi!

Lebih stress apabila menjadi orang tengah yang harus menyampaikan cerita di mana saya takut apa yang saya sampaikan tu salah dan boleh membawa kepada fitnah, pergaduhan, terasa hati atau pun yang seumpama dengannya!

tolong la jangan bagi saya cakap banyak! dah sah2 perangai saya ni suka bising.. nak kena jadi orang tengah lagi.. berbakul la dosa saya!!!!!!!!!!

tolong la faham!

saya rasa saya harus balik sekarang! Buat pertama kali saya merasakan dosa saya paling banyak minggu ini adalah datang dari lidah dan mulut saya untuk minggu ini!!!
SAYA HARUS PULANG!!!!!!

Maafkan saya!!!!!!!! ZIPP OFF!

(post yang menunjukkan kecelaruan apabila pada mulanya English bertukar menjadi malay sebab x mampu nak tahan idea)

Salam

Aduan si jahil..

Grey, Black and most of all White

2011-02-24T03:25:00.000-08:00

salam

My name is Syuhada Mustapha and I may not have much ilmu like Syed Qutb neither also have the slightest bit of Hassan al-banna’s countless taught and ilmu. Yet, all I know is I am an observer and I am a muslim.

There are so many things that happen lately regarding people questioning beyond the norm of my knowledge. Even the muslim. I was at the upmost dumbfounded stage when they ask such questions that cause GREY AREA!

Grey area is a complete disastrous. I understand that what they are asking is something that they didn’t know. For me, it’s either two, either you are really2 looking for the answer or you just make an excuses.

I do not have an angelic heart whom always thinks well about others. Though there has been a gazillion time of reminders on thinking good about others. Yes2! I understand.. yet I still believe that..

· This religion gives you a clear cut GUIDELINE on what IS WHITE AND WHAT IS BLACK!

· NO SUCH THING AS GREY AREA..

Ok stop beating behind the bush. what do you mean by “Grey area” DUDE!

Grey area is something wrong that you make it looks like correct.

For example, someone asking you about

“Hey, why don’t you muslim go to the concert.. It’s just a concert what?”

“Hey, why you have to lower down your veil/scarf? Isn’t it enough for you to just cover up your hair?”

“Hey muslim.. hey yada yada yada.. blab la bla”

The grey part would be the mixture of good and bad on the same occurrence. For instance, you make a concert for charity or something. I am not very good at presenting to you the exact quranic verses saying something that is haram or not.

Yet, you know that something that does not contribute to your remembrance upon GOD should be avoided.

I am not referring to any particular concert at this time. You have your own opinion and I am merely expressing mine.

To much grey area that it is even created by the muslims.

Sometimes, I think it is easier to explain to the non muslim regarding the Islamic view on particular condition.

If something that is haram we will simply said that

“Because God forbid us to do so” As simple as that! and if they are asking why? we give them SHORT AND PRECISE REASON. Everything is clear.

What is black is BLACK and what is white will always be WHITE!

To the questioner, I understand that you are seeking for the truth, but do not merely ask. Help yourself as well to find the answers.

Another thing would be the EXTREME PART!

Someone says that one whom preach about religion matter is somewhat ‘EXTREMIST”

Let me ask you this, if you really like something, you will tell others right? I mean like REALLY2 REALLY ABSOLUTELY LIKE SOMETHING!. YOU will keep on repeating the same stories over and over again.

Nonetheless, why only for those that preach about Islam that you label them as EXTREME?

What about someone who is absolutely deeply in love with K-POP or any entertainment? Are they EXTREME as well?

Those PhD people whom extremely thinking about on how to finish their unfinished thesis? Do they EXTREME thinker as well?

One keeps on talking about the human rights, or freedom and all that. Free to voice out opinions and all. Yet, when it comes to Islam, you are trying to close your mind as if like those human rights that you are pleading and begging NEVER EXIST.

I may not talk about Islam like 24/7, but I have friends whom are passionate about Islam and they understand their faith. They like to share with others..

SO LET THEM BE!

You and I are merely loser whom setback and analysed what they did. This one is right, this one seems like little bit lacking somewhere.

At least they have done something to contribute. What about you? What about me??

Till then, allow them to speak what is right. The manual has been given to YOU! Either you like it or not, do obey! no compromise!

Thank you!

Sweet

2011-02-22T22:31:00.000-08:00

salam

this is merely a ridiculous post. a snap taken when nanad was in hospital.. and the balloon was actually for her..

see how the name has been abbreviated to three letters only.. mine from syuhada and the only letter left would be DUD! which are not even exist!lol

They always taught me on how to "buat sweet2 things to your friends"

lol!Hilarious!

Never taught of the importance of you to appreciate your friend.. here they taught me about ithar and berlapang dada..

WHICH IS VERY HARD!!!!! Yet, with this people around, hopefully I would be able to pull through the stiffness in me! (cough2)

He grant you with friendship call ukhuwwah! Take a very good care of it!

till then..

May Him grant you with patience and happiness.. Insya-Allah.. Happy days ahead people!

(I'm a sweet girl I am!!)

Kahkahkah.. kasik penampar sekarang!

Iife is a like a bubble.

2011-02-19T02:53:00.000-08:00

Salam

Sending off her very2 good friends to aussie yesterday.. It was definitely undeniably heartbreaking to let them go. Yaya especially.. a very good friend to keep.. Seems like yesterday we spend our night together lying on the basketball court while looking at the stars together.. After that, we continue our life in separate path. Then, we meet again yesterday. Seeing her blushing every second was a momentous moment. Though we don’t spend much time in maktab, yet I know that she is one of a good friend to keep..

Then it was usher.. another good friend to keep.. Seeing him makes you laugh non-stop. A good friend that never brag and most of all, say nonsense thing yet meaningful.

Though I was not very keen to befriended with guys for some reason, this ‘maktab’ friend should stay as a good friend.. nothing more. Don’t tell me you don’t have a good ‘opposite gender ‘ friend. Enough of that, moving on.

another friend I was undeniably afraid to say goodbye.. haha. so.. good luck to you as well.

While waiting for the taxi to come, have a little chat with nunun. I told her that people think I am stern/ strict. She admitted that as well and I was dumbfounded

Last time, I used to follow, listen and swallow whatever things that happen. Guess, life has changed and patience is diminishing.

Last time, she used to cry, very easily sheds tears then moved on.

Now, she is very tough, she knows that she is being stern because her heart could not endure anymore stupid temptation. Guess, being that strict was not always good as it also took away some sympathetic and compassionate feelings together.

She could not endure tears from others. It makes her become so hard to accept that kind of feelings. To her, tears should not exist especially for the insignificant reason.

Enough of losing her best friend because of silly teenage conflict and also naively relinquished her heart to someone that do NOT belong.. She knows that probably because of this she is afraid to open up again.. Even for her girl friends

Nonetheless, she is firmly believed that what she did is solely to protect the heart from being offended again.Then again, she was afraid that it will affect her serious regret or remorse upon her sins to God. Afraid she could not shed tears for her Creator.

Life is also like a bubble. You will never know when you are going to burst then vanish together with the wind/air. One never knows what lies ahead and uncertainty will keep on bugging you.Someone told me that she wish to talk to GOD.

I told her that, even you are not talking to Him, He always listen.. Listening attentively to YOU.

Keep on praying hard no matter what comes along . She just need a little space to think and to read some good remedy.

Sheds her some lights and she will see it clearly. Insya-Allah

Too much incomprehensible metaphor I guess.

May He guide Syuhada Mustapha through it to what is right, and from any bad intentions and excessive verbiage. Doumo Arigatou I bid to you readers.

Random thoughts 2

2011-02-04T16:23:00.000-08:00

Salam

Ini adalah sebuah random post.

While accompanying mak to pasar, I realized that i wish for the first time the world will continue to spin and let the globe goes around so that I could see either things or occurrences that I haven't got a chance to see yet.

As I realize how patient can a father be while handling his children. Umi kata saya paranoid tp saya selalu fikir.. is there such a man still EXIST??

Saya seorang yang dingin.. bak kata orang melayu COLD la gitu.. saya tidak pandai berkasih-kasihan.. Setelah beberapa kali Tuhan tunjukkan kepada saya pentingnya kasih sayang antara sahabat.. Tp saya tetap refuse untuk menerima.. Kawan biasa2 ajelah.. sayanglah jugak.. TP, wa rasa x macho la nak ckp wa sayang kawan wa..(mode tiba2 berubah la yang pasti)
Satu hari, wa diberi peluang untuk menjadi harun kepada sahabat wa.. Wa electric shock beb! Tiba2 adik2 dia mcm peramah(which sekarang kira adik wa jugak)

Tiba2 adik2 tu main suap2.. main peluk2... WA KERAS beb!

Tiba2 kawan wa kalau datang bilik nangis mintak nasihat.. WA RASA MAU PENGSAN!!!!!! apa wa mau buat.

Kawan wa kata wa pasti jadi mak yang garang.. HADOI!

Wa x reti nak layan budak2.. Ok sayang la jugak.. Tp wa bukan jenis orang yang mcm "Alolololo comelnya dia!!" hadoyai.. wa bukan jenis orang cm tu maa.. wa rasa fake pulak.

Ok mode berubah..

Tp setelah saya realize yang kasih sayang itu sngat penting untuk mengeratkan ukhuwwah dan betapa pentingnya untuk mengikis ke'cold' an dalam diri tu..

Hal ini demikian kerana,

sikap dingin akan membuatkan kita jadi ignorant

sikap dingin ni akan membuatkan kita jadi loser

sikap cold ni membuatkan kita jadi x matang

Jadi saya cuba..

Keep on searching syudud. Fyi, to become a better muslim is an ongoing process kan.. Follow your own pace people!

Ok sedikit book review mahu dibuat.. Saya pernah berangan untuk menjadi seorang writer dalam bentuk journal.. Saya travel dan mahu terus menulis. Namun, disebabkan foundation english saya x berapa nak kuat, saya tidak mengambil risk itu..

Tp saya jumpa buku yang perfect dengan saya!!

Dr Farish A Noor. He is an academician, writer and traveler. He travels to many madrasahs and he wrote it in the form of JOURNALS!! Saya suka!!

Lagi satu

Belum habis baca lagi.. Tp it's a good book to read.. Especially for those who wanted to change and at the same time having difficulties with the surrounding people..

Selamat membaca.. Ohh periksa dah x lama lagi.. WOot

Salam

her random thoughts

2011-01-29T00:37:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum

It has been the third time for this week that I have scribbled the same ‘no-title’ post. The idea was not yet THERE!

so this is merely some random points

· somebody told her that SHE GOT NO ENTERTAINMENT with the fact that she did not like Korean stuff. She wonders why on Earth would she likes it if she is practically aware that those thing might COST her something as a penalty.

· She wonders why those who speaks about Islam is considered as CREEPY!!!!!!

· She did not understand why on Earth” she do not know who”... make the big fuss about music thing in college.. As if they do not understand the guidelines in Islam regarding music. Let just say they do not understand –ASK SOME TRUSTWORTHY USTAZ that you are comfortable with. ASK IF YOU WANT TO KNOW.. NOT TO MAKE EXCUSES!

· She knows that the heart belongs to Him.. but she is still questioning why the heart of those who receive continuous remedy still could not accept the fact that what is wrong is always wrong. What is right will continue its virtue even though one is being ignorant.

· She never thought that and would NEVER EVER think of

· those who have the INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH GUYS IS BAD

(because she has been ONCE)

· those free hairs is bad

(because she WAS once a free hair freak)

· those who wears inappropriate clothes is somewhat dumb

(because she’s also used to be one of them)

· those who being ignorant about Islam is evil..

(because she always fall asleep during ceramah)

· But she wonders WHY? Why on Earth people have to be ignorant.

· She is merely expressing her thoughts.

· She has saw people change.. She listens when her juniors giving coolsem regarding hijrah.

· How hard hijrah is for some people.. How challenging it is to let go of something that you like.

· She mustn’t say those thought if it was not about her.

· But she wonder, if you want to become better.. YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE ONE. Though you can’t transform immediately. but TRY HARDER!

· She will TRY HARDER TO UNDERSTAND.. SHED HER SOME LIGHTS..

AMIN

scene2 aneh di muka bumi

2010-12-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

salam

ini hanyalah random post yang bertujuan untuk peringatan sendiri.. harap maklum..

kejadian berlaku ditempat yang berlainan.. semoga tidak mereng selepas membaca..

SCENE 1:

tempat:kedai baju.

“kak saya nak cari baju kurung yang light colour ada x?

“ohh kita ada mcm2 kain.. kain ni.. yada yada.. bla bla..bla..

“alamak kak.. baju ni jarang lah..

“ohh kita mmg sengaja x buat lining.. nnti baju jadi teball.. kalau adik nak.. adik kena pakai inner la.

monolog dalaman “kain lining tu nak pakai kain guni ke smpai takut tebal?? kot ye pon.. Malaysia ni xdela panas GILA! boleh?

“umm.. xpelah.. terimakasih..keciwa

SCENE 2:

tempat:kedai.

kejadian: 3 orang adik manis.. muka dah lawa tapi ada yang x cukup..pulek?

dalam hati? “aku yang pelik ke diorang nih? tgk cuaca.. x de la panas.. mendung boleh? kalau ikutkan rasa nak je aku selubung diorang dengan kain telekung.Dik? terasa nak pakai telekung x?(ok ni berangan)

susah kalau mat saleh duduk Malaysia boleh pakai seluar panjang orang melayu pulak terasa mcm nak pakai seluar pendek.. mungkin kasi diorang duduk oversea baru tau nak pakai proper kot.. sbb sejuk la katakan”

BAJU= ikut CUACA= pulak??

lagi satu apabila semua dah terbalik.. yang pakaian yang patut disembunyikan dah jadi mcm pakaian harian

(ok mungkin mcm over kat situ.. tp.. sapa yang over sekarang..)

emosi otak.. sila maklum

SCENE 3

Tempat:salon.

“dik mari masuk tempat tertutup sikit”

dalam hati..Ya Allah syukur.. nasib kakak ni faham..

kejadian: “X..(bukan nama sebenar) boleh x ai nak (x tahu apa nama trolley yang diorang usung penuh dengan spray2 tu)

syud macam “adoi bang! saya yang konfius ke abang nih? part mana yang W-O-M-E-N only yang abang x faham ni bang?

saya konfius ke abang yang konfius?? abang ke?(mistaken identity yang dipersoalkan)KONFIUS!!

Rasa mcm nak selubung muka masuk dalam balang.. haish

Kesimpulannya..

Jangan takut jadi orang yang asing.. remember? Paradise is for strangers?? Jom!

p/s- sebelum ni pernah teremosi part post jahil tu.. tercerita pulak kisahnya dekat kawan.. n dia bagi tahu saya dekat al-quran ada jawapan untuk itu.. DANG!! mcm dikasi sedas penampar dan side kick? se-das?

AL-furqan=63

and the mst faithfull slave of the most gracious are those who walk on earth in humility and sadness, and when the foolish address them with bad words they reply back with mild words and gentleness

sila duduk dan nangis sekarang.. jawapan dah depan mata.. nafsu amarah tu boleh lagi nak main cak2 dengan kamu syudud!

marah2 lagi x tentu pasal.. marah la lagi!! haish.. (harap kepala je besar)-ok ni mcm da mengutuk diri lebih2

salam..

self healing...

2010-12-27T17:22:00.001-08:00

salam..

need self healing?? here goes..

pertama.. find this..

infinite remedy

second..

found this in kakak's shelf.. dah la berabuk! x baca dia nih.. wah.. sempat lagi mengata..

book with coffee coloured pages and old nanny smells..lol

it's worth to read anywy!!!

last but not least.. tat tara raaaa taraaaa!!

BAKSO!! tolonglah makan kalau rasa stress.. jgn lock yourself in your room! go out! eat food!

salam.. happy holidays!!!!!!

making the right decision? you need to listen attentively

2010-12-26T02:54:00.000-08:00

salam..

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

post ni agak pusing dan pening.. tp tolong la faham apa yang nak disampaikan(mungkin rasa nak gelak dulu.. boleh?) fuuh2

ok.. mcm biasa.. bila weekend.. si bapa xada apa nak buat kat rumah kecuali membuat aktivti2nya dari pagi smpai tghari... petang2 relax.. haha.. seronoknya jadi orang lelaki..

jadi.. x semena2 mcm pucuk dicita ulam mendatang(wah.. memandai! ke ulam dicita pucuk mendatang?? ahh?? mana satu ntah.. xkesah la yang pasti)

ok balik kepada ulam ke pucuk td tu.. ahh.. si bapa mengajak anaknya pergi makan di mamak..

ikut la si anak yang mmg kuat makan ni n pantang diajak makan..

ok.. sejak sebulan saya duduk rumah ni.. almaklum lagi cuti sekolah.. ramai la orang kahwin2 nih.. jadi kira tiap2 minggu mesti dapat makan free..

memandangkan kakak si penulis ni ntah bila nak kahwin.. tp sepatutnya bab2 kahwin ni si bapa cerita dengan dia.. tp si bapa cerita dengan SAYA pula!!!

saya yang otak senget ni.. tanya la bnda2 merepek.. kenapa nak kahwin la? x geli ke? kalau xda perasaan mcm mana la? mana nak tau jodoh tu dah sampai lah..

mungkin x matang lagi.. dah abah cerita.. syud pon.. owhh.. suka la bab2 goreng2 kahwin nih..

alkisah nak dipendekkan.. saya nak cakap kat sini.. Ayah selalu memberi nasihat yang betul!

walaupun kamu contohnya ambil science dan bapa kamu amik accountancy ke, atau kamu amik sastera bapak kamu doctor ke..

mmg la kalau kamu belajar maths xkan si bapa yang backgroundnya sastera boleh jawab differentiate 40x darab 40 over x..

tp si bapa mampu memberi nasihat pasal kehidupan.. He knows better than you do.. You can talk to him whatever you think you want to.. even pasal.. ok xyah cakap.. geli pulak..

ok ni part yang mcm x berapa nak diterima.. abah kata

"adik, kalau kau dah jumpa nnti kat mana2 lah.. kahwin aje"

(angkat kening sekarang!)

masa tu roti naan yang besar lengan tu nak tersekat kat korongkong.. apa kejadahnya.. mungkin sepatutnya abah ckp dekat kakak.. dan mungkin si ayah x tahu yang anak dia ni boleh terguling kalau ckp pasal bnda ni..

mungkin si bapa x sedar yang anak dia kat depan ni baru nak masuk 20.. anak yang 25 tu patut kena dengar ceramah ni..

kini.. bia saya nak guna jargon budak2 sekarang(wah ckp mcm orang tua).. yang guna der, gua, lu bai la apa kejadah bahasa diorang x tau.. semoga msg ni sampai..

ok mode berubah:

kat sini.. saya nak bg tau la 'der'.. 'der'! kalau 'der' dah ada siapa2 berkenan tu.. boleh x 'der' jangan main redah je 'der'! main ikut suka hati 'der' je msg anak dara orang or anak dara msg anak teruna

(ahh geli pulak guna perkataan ni)

ikut suka je nak ucap kata2 manis tu.. ok ni geli melampau mokhsya..

suka suki 'der'.. je an nak berkasih-kasihan dengan anak orang tp silap2 'lu' x tau pun nama penuh bapak orang tu sapa..

(ok suka suki x tahu mana hala nak guna 'der' ke 'lu')

suka suki kamu bawak anak dara orang jalan2 padahal bapak dia yang cari duit tu 'lu' buat x tau je 'der'..

'der'! kalau der betul2 'der'.. buat cara betul 'der'.. bawak mak ayah kamu jumpa mak ayah dia.. jangan lu pandai2 jumpa sorang mak bapak dia..

pastu x semena2 lu ditch dia mcm lu buang barang2 buruk..

'der'! bapak saya kata.. kalau betul2 nak.. 'der' buat solat istikharah 'der'.. mintak petunjuk..

bukan main redah je ckp "ohh she's the one' atau pun 'he's the one'

you choose.. which way!

source

awak siapa nak tentukan si dia tu the right one..

jgn setakat prepaid kamu mak ayah bayar atau pun scholar kerajaan bayar... kamu pandai2 nak belanja anak dara orang.. suka suki je.. orang bagi kamu suruh belajar.. bukan suka2..

lainlah kamu guna scholar tu nak kahwin kan.. kasi terjaga..

'der'.. gua baru 20 der(ok x sebenarnya.. lagi beberapa hari.. ahh.. tp x kesah la..)

.. gua x reti cakap bahasa2 kamu ni.. semua perkataan gua nak guna der..

'der' tu hapa saya pon x tau(pengaruh adnan sempit kat astro tu)

ok mode off..

tolong la jangan pandai2.. saya tahu saya siapa nak ckp bnda nih.. saya tahu yang muka saya ni kalau kamu tgk pon boleh muntah

tp kalau saya tgk muka kamu pun(lelaki ye) mungkin saya rasa nak bagi penampar.. ehh.. merepek.

x kira la yang pasti.. MAIN point here is talk to your parents! GO READ BOOKS.. find good reference.. jangan jadikan hati tu main reference pulak..Hati tu bukan kamu punya..

encik devil saytan jentik sikit.. dah boleh roboh iman tu..

cari pendapat.. THINK! PRAY! wake up..

apasal? kamu ada yang terasa ke? hehehe(gelak evil)

apa kejadah mahu terasa.. saya ckp salah ke?

mmg la ada yang salah.. mana saya nak tahu..

nak marah? kenapa marah saya?

saya bgtahu je apa yang ayah saya kata..

kenapa? nak marah ayah saya jugak?

x percaya tanya ayah kamu juga..

siapa2 nak marah.. saya minta maaf siap2..

p/s- post ini dipengaruhi keadaan sekeliling.. so untuk mengelakkan bnda2 ni ditulis..

mungkin kena heret saya balik sekolah..

ohh yes!

salam..

keras mcm??

2010-12-25T15:59:00.000-08:00

salam

hati yang keras susah nak diubati. tp cuba la ye(inisiatif untuk menulis setelah kakak kata saya sekarang ni orang yang keras hati)-fikir2 la sendiri

cuba saya nak cakap.. jadi la keras yang berpatutan..

jangan biar hati tu keras sampai nak menghadap Tuhan pun x rasa apa2

(ok ni pesan kat diri sendiri sbb kadang2 solat sbb rasa nak siapkan je tanpa membawa hati.. mungkin boleh tampar kau syud)

tolong la cuba menangis apabila kamu menghadap Tuhan

cuba hayati makna dalam quran

dengarlah lagu UBAT HATI dari opick- mungkin membantu

jgnlah kamu menangis kepada benda2 yang xperlu..

(tolong define sendiri benda yang xperlu tu.. saya pasti kamu tahu..)

telinga ni pon dah jadi keras..

(saya cuba untuk tidak mengeraskan telinga orang dengan bnda2 yang x perlu)

homaigod.. saya rasa orang x faham apa yang saya merapu ni.. tp cuba la sikit2 faham content yang atas tu.. mungkin berguna untuk kamu

p/s- saya mengaku saya mempunyai hati yang keras.. fuuh2..

STONE10000x!

2011-semoga saya menjadi keras yang berpatutan..

salam